Of Protagonists, The Unexpected and The Go-Figure (Adventures in the World of “Our Skirmishers of Silk, Steel and Fire”

One of the advantages of having no illusions about ever being a great success (as opposed to dreams and wishes that is) in writing is one is able to experiment and not be afraid whichever what-way matters go. Once more, dear reader and fellow writer, feel free to take out notebook and notate either ‘Hey I must try that’ or ‘No, must avoid that’ or ‘Oh boy that is so not going to work for me!’. To repeat my blog is all about pitfalls, wrong turnings, but best of all ‘Wow! The blessed thing actually worked! Who’d thought it??’ So gentle follower let us take another sojourn, shall we?Williamterriss7

Many successful and also good writers (the two do not necessarily go together) will hold fast to the idea of there being at least one strong protagonist. To have a hero or central character who forges though a book with no particularly effective opposition is not going to work. (unless the writer might be the latest Commercial Thing- which we are not are we?)   This is a good point and is undeniable.

Once more I have to admit, villains are my weak spot, they are there to be humiliated or slaughtered. Morally, elastic types who drift between ethical and legal borders, not so bad with those. Real fearsome, terrifying, evil folk…..not going to have a good time in my pages, if they do hang around it’s only to suffer…So sue me.200px-Advokat,_Engelsk_advokatdräkt,_Nordisk_familjebok

Anyway, a solution to this dilemma and to give my characters more to do than just than having a fun time or a challenging romp? Ah there was the rub! (Pause for Shakespearean interlude of silent staring off-stage).Othell0-8_2-1924-Jago

Now speaking for myself I read a history, mostly military, and after reading a lot of this it began to dawn, very little every goes to plan. In fact, after many amendments to the original we have the military saying, ‘No plan survives contact with the enemy’ (the original is much longer and slightly turgid). Thus, it occurred to me in the real world would you have a seemingly all-powerful and cunning protagonist whose plans went along so smoothly until the last few heroic efforts of the central characters?…. Nah! Great military geniuses and shrewd political operators were often wrong footed by the unexpected and had to adapt… if they were that good at their job!

To get around my prejudice (yes, it is a prejudice, must admit it) I thought about the many events in history and how these overwhelmed the participants maybe permanently, maybe temporarily and set the protagonist as The Situation the world was in.

To re-cap or to introduce. The World, which is ours set in a future at some stage was overwhelmed by a force which has many names (Ethereal, Stommigheid to name but two). Its true nature is not to date revealed, however can be utilised by machines, mind or physical effort, but NOT, NOT controlled. Think of an ocean or a river, think of water. Now in this future the World may be split or have given rise to other satellite worlds as a result of the arrival of this force, which is subject to its own relationships to the Universe and using the Water analogy there are tides (aka tydes- just liked the ‘y’) and storms. The stories are taking place at one of these junctures.

The first volume……..

Patchwork (See Amazon Kindle for your copy of ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’)

understanding-anger_183x90_184933693(if he does that again, I swear….)

set up the central characters, a familiarity on how this force affects the world and also an insight into some of the life forms other than what we might think of as human. This second volume looks into how the coming turbulence is affecting the plans, strategies and intentions of disparate folk, organisations, and races. The principal theme here is that no one is control, there are no superior beings, everyone is in the same boat, most just don’t realise it, they are floundering, or adjusting all the time.

Thus my central characters are working in constantly shifting states, whereas they remain true to reach other. The often comic and wacky Karlyn is drifting or being driven closer to learn about her background; Every Soldier Arketre is being shunted up the ladder of responsibility and getting some tough orders. While Trelli is still continuing her journey of discovery and adaptability to her new ‘powers’ although her journey parallels her two comrades she has a more ethical dimension to cope with. Not that matters are any easier for Karlyn and Arketre whose actions are decisions are always overlaid by their emotional and physical love for each other. They, all three are facing the ramifications of actions by several agencies and individuals, who themselves are linked in some case.

Yeh, great fun. The challenge is to keep the whole business fairly easy to follow. No one cares for a book which has them going ‘Huh?’ Confused person on Brexitand then flipping back through a few chapters to find out who was what, doing which then. Nor do they like to read a narrative interrupted by a brief resumé of that character’s actions another few chapters back. Lavery_Maiss_AurasNope it all needs balance. AND making sure the central characters aren’t swamped by everyone else’s business.

In fact, at times writing this novel seems to have parallels to writing a history. The basic facts have to be there, the important characters must be given their full due, but attention must be given to those lesser folk who turn up and spoil everything AND there are always circumstances outside of any player’s control; usually weather. (smart folk should always take into account weather, it happens)

This makes for a degree of flexibility too, as you never know who will rise to the occasion and who will get overwhelmed and fall out. The only spoiler I have three is the continual presence of the three centrals Arketre Beritt (solider), Karlyn Nahtinee (adventurer and enigma) and Trelli (Professional Name Currently Trelyvana Waywanderer, and she’s regretting choosing it. The Everyone of the saga).

The best part is, there I am wandering about the house doing my share of chores, when suddenly I get a ‘Hey! ‘They’ would do ‘that’. Of course ‘they’ would,’ interlude, which was not planned, but bubbled up from the whole brew.

I just love writing by the proverbial seat of my laptop. The first draft was OK, but now the real fun has begun.

So I thus end with a familiar refrain. You can think about this approach. You can shake your head in sad despair at my hapless ways. You can recoil in horror and sprinkle your laptop screen with sacred coffee (or tea) at such heresies. Your choice.  Just do me one small favour.

Keep writing. Never, ever give up on your writing.

Wishing you Good Journeys People!

Winning Back Your Novel (Adventures in the Writing of “Our Skirmishers of Silk, Steel and Fire”)

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Of Patchwork Warriors…Evidence of Interference and Malice

Hello Again.

Wigran Hendrechan here.

In your world I might be called, as I understand the term ‘a hacker’. To be honest our name of Jordisk has a more dignified ring, hailing from an ancient northern language it means Underground (I think).

I cannot spend too much time on this message. The LifeGuard Fortress at Drygnest is infamous for its sharp eyes and ears and dread for its long and deadly reach. These words were  transcripted from a text dispatched to Drygnest by Captain Dekyria. He is a moderately benign officer of the LifeGuard who I am obliged to work with, there is no option. Normally the work is not so onerous or conflicting with my other tasks. However, the Implication is there to behave.

And yet my consciousness will not let this recent deed go by. Here are the details, you must draw your own conclusions. I bid you farewell, for the present:

 

 

Dispatch: Breech in Confidentiality.

Category: Of Current Low Consequence.

Potential: Of possible risk prejudicial to future tasks.

 

Concerns arose of the safety of the scouting and intelligence gathering into the Realm known as 21st Century under the guise of co-operation with the native R J Llewellyn in his alleged work of fiction ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’.* (copy of cover attached)

Having read and examined this for any possible seditious themes I noticed he had gleaned an amount of detail on our own modes of strategy, tactics and long-term planning which were becoming excessive. This had garnered support amongst some of the other individuals involved in the narrative. An attempt to make a direct intrusion would have met with their protests and disruptions which could have had repercussions in related missions.

It was therefore judged best to insert into the initial printing a certain of number of errors which others would notice and cause the author to react. He is a fellow prone to bouts of frenetic but not very accurate or well thought out actions. Once these errors had been brought to his attention he was somewhat embarrassed and set to work to address the problem. In his haste to rectify matters he failed to notice my duplication of half a chapter in his second edition compounding the view of his presentation as being badly formulated and thus demeaning the work in popular terms.

Although this has not discouraged his production of distortion (with it has to be admitted some facts) into a second volume of his tale and the now published third edition of the original volume I am confident the disruptions embedded will lead to more uncertainty and degrading of confidence. This is turn will continue to reinforce his reluctance to make known his work and so ensure the operations of the LifeGuard remain basically unknown to his and our realm.

An apparent accidental termination of the fellow is not recommended lest by some quirk of this 21st Century Realm he becomes a cult figure.

 

Attested

Captain Dekyria.

*

*Patchwork 

‘Of Patchwork Warriors’: The Chapter Seventeen Incident- An Appeal for Discernment

‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ Wigran Hendrechan explains something of the forces at work

‘Ullo Everyone! It’s proper ‘Patchwork Warriors’ time!!

‘Of Patchwork Warriors’….Trelli Speaks

‘Yes, Arketre I’ll do it now. Promise. Honest,’
Oh, she’s a dear friend, but I’m not inclined to her ‘Soldiers have to get on with it’, approach on account of not being one. In fact not starting out as anything to do with heroics, which I now understand is standard fayre for this sort of tale. Nonetheless, I have to say the circumstance is not making anything easier for me.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Trelli, recently when feeling a bit giddy and fed up of a lot of people telling me what to do I changed my name to Trelyvana Waywanderer which thinking back was a bit of silly move, what is sillier though is folk taking the name seriously. Although I don’t suppose that should be so surprising as the whole thing is very, very, very odd.
You will have read comments from other folk involved in this book ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ and some will have told you they chanced upon it, other volunteered, or were sent ‘here’. As for myself, I don’t know how I got ‘here’. One morning I woke up, as usual, will all the memories of my quite good time as a housemaid then sort of housekeeper at the Hendrechan household. Then I found myself involved in this tale of unnatural powers, adventures, escapes, escapades and all the business which goes with it.
In the tale, I often am found saying ‘I don’t know how’ and words like those. Well, truly ‘I don’t know how’. It is a very good thing my friends are Karlyn and Arketre otherwise it would be a very messy business indeed. I did not really know what I was supposed to say about the book, until Arketre said ‘Jus’ say what on yore mind sweetie’ in her usual kindly way.
It’s the author or whatever he is supposed to be who annoys me most of the time. Let me explain something there.
He keeps giving me powers without explaining just how or why very much. He has me doing things which I am sure wouldn’t be that easy for a person to do who had only just got involved in such business. I don’t even have a proper training narrative, no wise person to help me along and it might look good to see a previously simply housemaid (nearly housekeeper) go up against a horrid lord, but it is a most upsetting experience when you don’t know what the frib you are doing!
Then there’s the romance stuff! Of course, he assumes that every humble housemaid (would have been housekeeper shortly!) must be looking to fall in love with any likely fellow who turns up. There was this ‘Will they? Won’t they?’ stuff with Wigran, well I had to put my foot down on any sloppiness there! I told the writer ‘Look! You snatch me out of my good living and spoil my career prospects. You bust up my comfy little town. You have me witness all sorts of unpleasant things; have you ever tried to prepare breakfast with dead bodies about the place? You have me lifting half houses and other very trying acts…and after all that you expect me to flutter my eyelashes and coo after some lad who’s had an easy time in the whole spiffling book! Then you have me thinking the most improper thoughts in the most difficult of situations. Personally, I would never do such a thing!’
Yes, it is an adventure which is a thrill and Karlyn is my really good friend. I admit it was kind of him to have me use my domestic skills to make sure Karlyn and Arketre didn’t fall unhealthy (and Arketre a healer too!). That said I do expect for the writer to have a bit of reality with this romance and bawdiness business, just not comfortable with it at this stage. It’s ok for Wigran him being a young male in a large city with lax morals, it’s fine for Karlyn and Arketre who have had…ah…more experience of that part of life but I would like a bit of chance to just get used to everything.
I hope he listens, this author, but he does remind me of Wigran, dashing off in all directions without much planning. I mean he made a right mess of that last edition of the book and he was supposed to have published a new edition by now!
I would never let him in my kitchen!
Or trust him cleaning the best crystal.
Still, I’m not giving up on the tale, he dragged me in here, so I am fribbing well staying, and am going to make sure any romances will be believable ones!
Men!….Humph!!

And I am not going to tell you buy the book, while it is in such a state. So you’d better wait for the silly fellow to get himself sorted out in the next few days

‘Guess y’all kin call me a Patchwork Girl’ LifeGuard Arketre Beritt reflects.

‘Ullo Everyone! It’s proper ‘Patchwork Warriors’ time!!

An Author’s Concerns

‘Guess y’all kin call me a Patchwork Girl’ LifeGuard Arketre Beritt reflects.

I told the writer, he of an excess o’ names, that I was gonna have mah say ‘cause ‘Kitlin’ (that’s Karlyn to you) was fussin’ me to do so, an’ he starts to get agitated ‘bout the way I speak an’ sayin’ I should tone down mah accent.

‘Why’s tha?’ I say

‘Because people will say no one talks like that,’ he says in a nervous manner

‘An these people,’ I say in a polite but firm way ‘They’d be from Sudd-Hengestatia?’

At this juncture he gets all flustered an’ starts going on about the way some folk speak or are portrayed as speakin’ in his world and I point out I am NOT from his world, thus what the frib’ is he worryin’ fer?

He exits ‘bout then

(Though I did promise to speak a measure more refined when the occasion did require)

So, anyhows I am Arketre Beritt. I am actually serving in the LifeGuard, tha’ an’t made up. In point o’ fact I was posted into this narrative on account of the original girl styled as military was too cute, an’ always cheery. Y’all try an’ be cute and cheery when up to tryin’ to save a life yer up to y’ arms in innards an’ all that resides in them. Damn foolish idea! Anyways I get called over by my Major an’ he tells me I’m gonna be takin’ part in one of your world’s books an’ jus’ be myself, what he meant by that I am not rightly certain.

‘My Major,’ I say ‘I’m not expected to exhibit tactical genius nor be orderin’ whole armies ‘bout the place am I? Because that stuff is not in a medician’s purview,’

An’ he just says with a sliver of a sly smile.

‘Jus’ be yourself Medician,’

Bein’ typical military they don’t go giving me full details, so I turn up into this narrative and do my best getting’ into the flow of it, an’ Thank The Good Lord God they do put me in a typical LifeGuard setting to start with, even fittin’ bits of mah own life in, which was kina helpful, with all the midden what’s goin’ on around me. This Stommigheid, or as we in the LifeGuard call it The Astatheia being the main pain in my backside, because next thing I’m knownin’ is the whole damn thing is Reality, leastways as far as Reality as any of us kan be expected to perceive.

This would have been some cause for compliant save for me meetin’ with Karlyn. Now I’ve had mah fair share o’ conquests and interestin’ interludes, like any good LifeGuard trooper, but she is somethin’ special. An’ folks that’s all y’gonna know. I told his writerness ‘Course y’all should damn well write ‘bout us getting’ together. S’obvious an’ it? Y’all pay attention to the fribbin’ narrative willa? But don’t y’all go puttin’ unnecessary details in. T’aint dignified’

He did not argue over that.

Then there’s Trelli, an’ she is the sweetest most trustworthy friend y’ could hope to ever have. She’s of a kindly nature too, which is good since us other two tend to get a bit rough an’ prone to physical retribution upon anyone who gets in our way, so she calms us down, at times. Except when she gets fierce, then folks ‘Everyone duck!’

On the whole it’s not bein’ so bad, as a trooper’s life goes, an’ getting’ to make decisions of a minor tactical nature was bound to happen I suppose. Makes a change from curin’ Particular Boils, checkin’ back-ends for worms along with all the other woes that befall bodies. Though I’m guessin’ there’s gonna be a whole more of a sewer’s worth dropped on mah poor blonde head at some stage, wouldn’t be army life otherwise.

Some of the others had been agitating about this marketing hoo-hah, which I was none too excited about, I mean how would you like to have lots of strangers knowin’ all about your personal details an’ activities an’ those doubts and fears we’re all plagued with. Point ‘o fact since it’s become apparent that Dozy Fingers  the Writer messed up with his publishin’ process, there’s a whole stop on that side o’things. Kan’t say, I’m surprised at a foul-up having been in the army for a few years, jus’ fribbin’ glad he an’t mah officer. An’ kan’t say I’m too bothered ’bout the business either, someone will sort it out; someone always will. In the meantime, I’ll keep on keepin’ my and my folks delicates intact.

Come to think o’ it. The whole thing is like The LifeGuard.

Anyways, take mah advice an’ steer clear of the book until someone tells y’ it’s all sorted out.

Be seein’ y’.

 

An Author’s Concerns

‘Ullo Everyone! It’s proper ‘Patchwork Warriors’ time!!

Mr Silc wants to have a few words about ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’

‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ Wigran Hendrechan explains something of the forces at work

‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ Wigran Hendrechan explains something of the forces at work

 

Hello.

My name in Wigran Hendrechan and you’ll find something about me in ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’.

I’m not really one of the heroes nor at present, a truly central character, although to be fair if it wasn’t for me Trelli wouldn’t be the strong person she has become. I don’t mean to sound arrogant about that, but it is a fact of Cause and Effect in the book. When you read the narrative, you’ll find there is a great deal of interaction between The Stommigheid and folk and all sorts of things happen no one expects. (Actually, I don’t like the term Stommigheid, that’s too judgemental. The Ethereal is more apt because the whole business is very difficult to pin down in simple sentences)

I’ve been trying to explain all of this to Roger who makes our adventures known in your world. He’s quite sharp on the uptake on the subtleties, but does get lost with the calculations, which I admit involve numbers which don’t seem much like regular numbers, hence the title of a seminal work ‘On Number Where There Are None’ (it’s a bit of a pun, if you know your way about the discipline).

We get on very well together. Once he realised it was a bit unfair for me to be a sort of continual comic relief and be perpetually in a ‘Will they? Won’t they?’ relationship with Trelli. We talked it over quite a bit and worked out some deeper moves for Volume II. He was very helpful there because I was all for going on dying heroically in Volume I but he convinced me to stay with the narrative because of The Potential.

Yes, it is an odd concept isn’t it? I mean, you think we might die, but in our world we don’t we just move into another narrative, or if we choose we go back to our other lives. The duality or even the quadrality is all very straightforward to us, but there again we live by a quite different set of circumstances, which is why we can get exist with The Ethereal so well. Karlyn gets the idea straight away. Arketre being military just reckons ‘It’s another mission. Only with more fun’. Trelli keeps her thoughts to herself, which is fair enough. As for Mr Silc, well he’s made his views plain….I apologise for that interlude, but Mr. Silc is MR. SILC.

I should have ensured these thoughts were dispatched two or so days ago, then this most singular and unexpected event was uncovered. Some while ago Roger and I had checked the book for the Second Edition issue and all seemed well and clean (well apart from the odd words or punctuation, but these things will happen). Then we find out, that Chapter Seventeen had duplicated itself into the format of the narrative. I tell you we were both perplexed, we thought we had been carefully through this together.

Roger was all for blaming what he considers in a malignant form of life which exists in the devices you know as computers and it was done to simply to agonise him. I explained to him that our oculators are more sensitive, being attuned to colour codes and tydes of the Ethereal, whereas your computers are somewhat clunky. Therefore, I had to conclude the error had arisen during an interlude when The Ethereal or Stommigheid if you will, had flowed between our two states of existence and had inserted an older version of the chapter into the narrative we were turning into the book.

Another fascinating possibility is the whole event was caused by the merging of two separate streams of Time, so the earlier chapter was brought from ‘a time ago’ and included in ‘The Present’, both terms being approximates.

Anyway, we are working on another edition which we hope will have expunged the aforementioned chapter, although we cannot be certain because The Ethereal is quite a strong and persistent force.

You will understand, therefore, why I am not getting involved in this marketing aspect. I mean I can’t go on about something which has what you would consider a flaw. If you don’t mind I prefer to think of it as a manifestation of the vastness and complexity of The Ethereal.

Thank you for your ‘time’ (that’s another pun by the way)

An Author’s Concerns

‘Ullo Everyone! It’s proper ‘Patchwork Warriors’ time!!

 Mr Silc wants to have a few words about ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’

Mr Silc wants to have a few words about ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’

‘Ullo. Grenaww Silc’s the name. Elinid’s me home town. I do alright by her and she does alright by me, if you get my meaning, which most folks do, soon enough, and feel a lot better for knowing so.

Now this lad who does the writing. Well, be honest he’s a bit of walnut. Told him so, and give him his due, he accepts that and does his best.

To be fayre to him, he’s given Elinid a good spread, been writing about the old town for years, he has, in one those affectionate ways, which is nice. ‘Course he started out the wrong way, gave us Silcs a minor, what they call, reference role, just to build up this Ven Jek bloke. Oh yes, I shouldn’t get started on them Jeks, going on like they was all moral and just roguish when they were just a bunch of small-time shifters. But anyway, times move on. Old Elinid prevails and us Silcs, we prosper and these days, apart from that Ven getting’ a mention amongst them Jordisk folk who fiddle with dangerous stuff, who knows about Jeks?

Yea, now this book. Old Walnut has a problem with writing villains. He can’t stands ‘em! Says they’re all cliché and trop and goes off like all those arty folk do as if someone had stuck a pin in their backsides. And he always writes these pantomime types, who you know are going to fall on their arses. I told him ‘Yer lookin’ in the wrong places sunshine. Yer lookin’ at those upper-class privileged wobblers that never had to get dirt under their finger nails fighting for a crust o’ bread. Any twonk can sound menacing and superior when they’re scaring peasants. It’s when you go on the backstreets where even the little ol’ grannies can slice you up that you’ll find the worthwhile folk’

He gets the message and pays attention to the way we do business in Elinid, then he finds that writing about folk who have to do things the tough way because that’s the way it is is not so difficult after all. Even says he enjoys it. Of course we don’t tell the lad everything, I mean aside from giving away trade secrets, it might be a bit, well, let’s just say, unsettling for some folk.

And it’s been alright, working with the other folk who are characters. Nice bunch, once you get passed all of their peculiarities, but as I says Folks is Folks and that’s the way it is.

I didn’t get involved with all the editing and re-writing stuff, not really my strong hand o’ cards. My trouble was, when we came to the bit about his nibbs trying to sell the books, that’s where me and him had a BIG falling out. I look at it this way y’see. We gave him all of our special insight into villainy and so forth, so we, me and the boys we expect something for our efforts; a bit of the old gold, y’ know. But it turns out he’s a bigger walnut at that, than writing! All we see is pennies! I have to say to him ‘This is a bit o’ a disappointment, this is, sunshine. You talked a brighter version than this to me. So what’s all this about then?’ And he gives me an old sob story about marketing and profiles. Which means I have to get stern with him, then ask him to hand over the figures for me to look at. And that did it for me , I can tell you.

‘5 sold and 18 given away!’ I says ‘What’s this 18 given away then?!’. Well I grant you I might have been a bit loud, but there was no need for him to panic, hide under a table and babble on about his blimpin’ profiles. I wasn’t going to stand for all that arse-blast, I tell you.

So, I have to have a word with you folk, direct, and I hope civilised, that you’ll understand.

About this book ‘Of Patchwork Warrior’Patchwork

 

‘Err Mr.Silc, I would rather you didn’t,’

‘Sush! This is business stuff. Not your strength.’

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, as I see it. He’s been giving these books away and selling some of them at very, very reasonable prices. Well, what springs to my mind is the old saying ‘Favour for a favour’...see what I mean. If you got a copy either free or very cheap then see it from my viewpoint, is it too much to ask for folk to say how much they enjoyed the read, or if they didn’t then say so, we’re all grown-ups here. But just a quick mention, somewhere on your ‘NET’ would be a very nice thing to do..as I see it. Spread the Good Word. Help the Old Sales bit. Shake up the market.  You know, me and the boys are very old fashioned, and we think that would just be, well Good Manners. Although we are a bit rough about the edges, we reckon civility costs nothing, particularly when someone got the book for free. And we do dislike…

‘Err…Mr Silc, I’m sure they didn’t mean-‘

‘Quiet Walnut! You’re interrupting AND that is RUDE! Get back under your table’

Now where was I….Oh yeh….This NET is interesting, I got our lad Wigran (he’ll have his say at some stage I’m sure) to check it out for me, not as flexible as our stuff on the Stommigheid, but he was able to find out who has a copy of which book (there’s some other stuff I never got involved with) and that was MOST INTERESTING..

‘Oh dear this is not going well…there will be repercussions…’

‘Mr Grutch! Would you please apply a sock to his mouth for me………Thank you Mr Grutch,’

Mmmmff!’

‘No problem Guv’nor,’

I am sorry for the interruptions, you know how fragile some of these writers can be. Anyways I’ve not got much else to say really. Gave you my side of the business and made our feelings known. So I hope you folk understand. After all, we can all get along together. Can’t we?

Nice speaking with you.

Take care now. It’s a twisty old world. You never know what might happen, if you’re not CAREFUL and not PAYING ATTENTION.

Be SEEING you.

Don’t forget now

OF PATCHWORK WARRIORS

Patchwork

‘Ullo Everyone! It’s proper ‘Patchwork Warriors’ time!!

An Author’s Concerns

 

‘Ullo Everyone! It’s proper ‘Patchwork Warriors’ time!!

Hi Karlyn here!!

‘Lo everyone! I said I’d be back didn’t I?

For meself, speaking personally, I was pleased  wiv’ the way ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ went. There was a lot of running about, thumpin’ blokes wot deserved it, stabbing a few an’ I got to climb up as many trees as I wanted to AN’ talk to so many really interesting and clever bees and butterflys. AN’ a made a really best good friend Trelli, who understands me. And is kindly an’ sweet.

AND ‘course there was (hee-hee) Flaxi, whose proper name is Arketre but she’s got this lovely blonde hair! So my pet name for ‘er is Flaxi!….But I’m not supposed to say too much ‘bout us ‘cause Flaxi’s particular about HOW much you lot should know. She says ‘I don’ want to go a walkin’ about their bedrooms do I naw? So they can jus’ use their Good Lord God-given imaginations!’– she can get a bit snippy y’know.

Anyways, so this lad Roger gets sniff of all the tydes and such wots and starts to put them together, us putting him right from time to time. Sometimes I had to give ‘im one of them allegorical smacks on the ‘ead. I told him straight ‘I don’t care wot a rommm-Kommmm is in your world sunshine, it won’t do for us!’ then he got in a sulk an’ then a panic and starting wibblin’ about the place ‘bout ‘is own ideas! Well I just laughed, harshly, an’ threatened him with a half-finished book. I says ‘We’ll walk out on y’know. Leave y’ Bee-refted an’ all forlon, just like an unwatered flower!’ so ‘e does as he’s told (Well, actually ‘e had Flaxi lurkin’ over his shoulder an’ whisperin’ fings like ‘Dontcha y’all go writin’ no stuff for the boys to get over-excited about naw,’).

An’ then later on he got another bit of panicky ‘bout ‘ow I was like some characters in more well-known stuff in ‘is world, then I says ‘Huh! If y’’ asks me seems like they’s more like me! Only not as variable’ well that confused ‘im, so he shut up and got on wiv writing, like a good lil’ doggy.

Mus’ tell you! We ‘ad so much Hooo-Hah wiv the cover! Y’see Roger thought ‘e’d try ‘is own an’ did all of these photographs, which I ‘elped ‘im wiv, ‘cas although the lad is a sproggle-head like me ‘e’s all for allegorical an’ symbolisms. But when I shows the rest of the folk  the draft photos there was all sorts of grumblin’ and objections. Trelli wanted to know if that was supposed to be ‘er undershirt, ‘cas it looked common an’ unsanitary, an’ Flaxi complained the whole fing looked like ‘alf of the latrine pit was showin’. Then The Captain (that’s Dekyria), well ‘im being all stern and correct says there should be outlines and silly-outettes of grim lookin’ figures with swords an’ stuff. Well, I told ’em all straight, ‘Look’ I says ‘We’ve got a noodle-hutch doin’ this. Do you fink ‘e can organise that sorta clever stuff? You’ve been wiv ‘im for a year now..right?…If we push the lad too much, ‘ee’ll jus’ go and panic an’ take one of them Amazon stock photos an’ claim everyone will get the Hi-roh-nee!’ Now that put ‘em all in line!

Then our brave author finally gets the whole thing on Amazon on the Kindly only to think that is the end of it! So we have to tell the boy all ‘bout marketing an’ raising profiles. Then ‘e does ‘is annoying ‘Yes. Of course. I’ll get on with it’ and puts some stuff out on the Wordly Press an’ reckons job’s a good ‘un! SO we have to good back an’ ask him wot ‘bout Twitter, Tumbly (or sum fing) an’ that Face Book. He tries to sneak out of that by getting on a box an’ going on ‘bout the tox-i-city of Social Media, whatever that means!

Then he starts giving books away (or downlumps, I dunno) an’ that gets The Guv’Nor (That’s MR. Silc to you lot!) cross, him bein’ all for for money in the bank, but you’ll be readin’ from MR Silc soon, so watch out!

Anyways, I’d luv to stay an’ chat a lot more ‘bout all the good stuff we got up to, an’ answer yer questions but ‘is Sproggleness is workin’ on the second book an’ ‘e’s getting’it all wrong again, so I gotta go an’ do some allegorical ‘ead-smacking, if y’ know wot I mean.

There’ll be some more folk along wiv’ their piece to say, probably more ‘bout marketing and making everything know more…. I reckon it’s a b it of an’ opeless task and we gotta play the long game an’ maybe in like a ‘undred years it’ll all get discovered…. Well a ‘undred of your years, not ours ‘cause we’s different.

See ya!

PS: Don’t ferget to tell everyone one ‘bout us! Y’ can tell we’re more lively than ‘e made out!

Book Cover 9An’ this is the book…. ‘Of Patchwork Warriors!’ S’ on Kindly. An’ it don’t cost that much, so wot you gotta loose I says….And if anyone says in that snotty sorta voice ‘Oh five How-Wars of my Life which Hi shall nevah get back’ an’ then think they’ve been clever, I’ll be ’round to talk wiv’ em if y’ get MY MEANING…. I can y’know, being Eeefereal an’ all.

An’ I gotta a body-count too.

Bye-bye

An Author’s Concerns