Caption Time….

Aw don't go cross away just because

 

“Aww don’t go away cross just because……”

Go on folks, have fun add your own ending.

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Franklin We Need You Now!

A two-year-old Honduran asylum seeker cries as her mother is searched and detained near the U.S.-Mexico border on June 12, 2018 in McAllen, Texas.

Franklin

 

Like Charlie, he’s close to his grandfather and, like Linus, he quotes the Old Testament. His father was in Vietnam and, most of all, Franklin has a good heart. Nowhere was that more evident than in a 1969 strip in which Peppermint Patty cries because of shoes she’s required to wear to school. Franklin says, “All I know is any rule that makes a little girl cry has to be a bad rule.”

An Interlude on FaceBook (Or Why I Choose Word Press)

This blog from time to time does contain rants or pithiness concerning the small and the confused folk who inhabit FaceBook and slosh around their limited perspectives with all the appeal of ‘that drunk’ who is ruining your evening or disturbing your train/bus journey home. As a consequence, I don’t use it much apart from a few writers, and of course family & friends. But from time to time I amble about making the odd throwaway remark as takes m’ fancy.

Well for those of you not British, we in typical British style have embroiled ourselves in a messy farce, this time Brexit many on both sides tackling the debate t like a re-run of the Thirty Years War and the Government’s approach does seem to be rather disjointed, disunited and a bit chaotic. So anyway there was this relatively harmless item and I just added a like-hearted  comment, reflecting what I thought was the average person’s opinion of the current state.

 

Annnddd I attracted one of the Huff ‘n Puff brigade which has no particular political stripe being dedicated to being rude to those who do not agree with them.

This guy seems to spend a lot of his time dashing from one site to another making derogatory remarks to Remainers (ie folk who want the UK to stay with Europe), so there was a good chance we would bump into each other. Here is the exchange that followed. (His name has been changed, after all it wouldn’t be fair to print it without his permission, would it now?)

 

ME: As a devotee of the Marx Bros. and Three Stooges Films I would like to thank the Govt, The Daily Mail, The Express, The Sun and the Hard-Line Breixteers through Brexit for keeping the spirit of that style of zany, knock-about comedy alive (Mr J Rees-Mogg does need some better writers though, he’s not as funny as Boris Johnson)

 

HUFF ‘N PUFF: Let’s face it, it isn’t the method you’re upset about. It’s only the result.

 

ME: You’re not sitting where I am. I’ve witnessed foolishness in comments and attitudes from both sides which places me way beyond upset. Quite detached in fact. If another vote turns up I’ll vote Remain because our time as a player on the World Stage is over; it happens it’s our turn to decline. In the meantime, I will choose to ridicule the shriller voices on both sides. Too many folk going around on rocket-powered tricycles yelling their heads off (that is allegorical by the way)

 

HUFF ‘N PUFF: Change your medicine. LSD is reputedly good.

 

ME: Oh dear, oh dear. The predictable insulting response. And not even an original one either. Doesn’t matter whether the reply comes from The Right or The Left it soon comes down to this. Straight out of the blocks, no conversation no discussion, The Same Old, Same Old. Alt Right. Momentum. Brextiteers. Remainiacs. I get the same response to any comment be it serious or humorous. ‘Ugh they disagree with me. Ugh me throws rocks.’ I used to get really angry, these days I have to laugh. You are all so damn predictable.

 

That was three days ago, no response

So remember folk when confronting one of these uninvited folk adopt the following:

Dismiss their remarks as predictable and unoriginal

Admit that there are idiots on your side of the argument.

Say you’ve been insulted by idiots for not having exactly the same opinion as them.

Despair of idiots in general.

Suggest they are also an idiot for behaving this way.

Wait for their response.

HA!

In the meantime if you really want to see how Mature is done, check out:

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/15107025/posts/43878- “Give-And-Take on philosofa”

A Political-Style Appeal

Could I please, respectfully request all the erudite and intelligent folk who understandably place posts on their blogs attacking the current occupant of the Whitehouse to not use photos of him grinning or smiling. My relationship with my argumentative laptop is fragile enough as it is. If I see one more smug smirk I am going to lacerate my fist as it goes through the screen.

Thank you.

While I’m here….Sandy Hook Conspiracy folk (looking at you Alex Jones)

outrage1-620x350…..To you

And even…..

rant

And those are the polite versions.

Thank you for your time.

Look At Your Hands damn you!!!

Blood-On-Hands

26, count ’em NRA

Congress

Apologists

WhiteHouse

Count ’em- children included.

As of the 2nd October 273 mass shootings in the USA

http://uk.businessinsider.com/how-many-mass-shootings-in-america-las-vegas-shooting-2017-10?r=US&IR=T.

Killings in New York; President calls for immigration controls

Killings in Sutherland Springs and the Presidents sends ‘thoughts & prayers- yadada’….that an’ a few bucks will get a cup of coffee Trump!

The dead in Las Vegas are left to be mourned by their families and picked over by the Conspiracy Theorists. And anything about Gun Control…..HA!!

Anything on Gun Control?

Oh silly, silly question you innocent little Brit! We must be armed against terrorists and government dictators.

Oh for cryin’out loud!!

Look again

NRA, Congress, Whitehouse, Apologists.

Look at your damned hands!!

Blood-On-Hands

A True History of The Isles Vol II Chapter 8 – The End of the 14th Century and Richard II (well also his beginning too)

 

 

As was the case of his great-grandfather Edward the II, had the fates been kinder to Richard( born in Bordeaux 3rd January 1367) and people hadn’t kept dying, he could have lived out his life in the said city and ruled all of Aquitaine or at least stopped the French from having it. However, his father an Edward, son of Edward III, had become so very famous and popular by defeating the French while wearing black armour campaigned too much in foreign climes and died of them in 1376.  His father own Edward the III, neatly expired the following year on 21st June 1377(of age and a pushy mistress). Thus, Richard was made The II on the 16th July 1377.

The Early Years

In these formative times Richard was advised (a polite term for ‘do as you’re told’) by his uncles the very stern and thin John of Gaunt and Thomas The Wooodcock who ruled Buckinghamshire. The first challenge being the Revolting Peasants of 1381(see Chapter 7) and whereas the nobility were unhappy that his uncles advised him, they took comfort that he lied to the rebels and had them massively executed afterwards, so there was hope for the lad.

Richard and his Court

Unfortunately, being a teenage king meant that Richard naturally disliked his uncles telling what to do and began to choose his own advisors in particular Simon de Burbblery, who was probably common and the haughty Robert de Sneer. Many of these preferred dressing in fashionable clothes and ‘indulging’ so were heartily disliked by the average noble for not wanting to fight either The French or Scots or even massacre peasants. Things became worse when it was found out that Richard was making some of his advisors favourites, especially Robert de Sneer who for some obscure reason wanted to rule Ireland disguised as a duck. John of Gaunt was so disgusted with the whole business that he left England to try and be a king of a bit of Spain. Further revelations that three of the favourites were named Bushy, Bagot and Green and thus sounded like a firm of untrustworthy lawyers raised matters to breaking point.

Parliaments and Lords

In 1386 there was some concern that France might invade England just to see how England liked it. Richard’ Chancellor Michael of the Maypole asked for money, the parliament said no, because the king had been spending too much on Robert, shoes, jewels and Soothsayers (who he should have sacked as they hadn’t warned him this was coming) and anyway the Parliament didn’t like the Chancellor so he could go too. Richard was furious not only with their temerity but that everyone was going around calling them Wonderful. In his temper, he spun around the country, installing Robert just in time to rule Chester which by the laws of those days enabled Richard to claim the Parliament was not wonderful, but in fact was treacherous, treasonous and probably onerous.

This was of little use, for inspired by the Wondrous Parliament several lords got together and told Richard why he was not being a good king. So eloquent and reasoned were their arguments they were known as The Lords Intelligent. One of Richard’s cronies tried to raise his spirits by referring to them as The Lords Repellent; Richard did not see the funny side of this because he knew these lords had large armed retinues and he didn’t. Even so he sent Robert (The Favourite) with whatever troops could be found. A great battle was fought in December 1387 at Radcot which was supposed to have a bridge but this was stolen by The Lords. The Royal army adopted the tactics of running away, standing still or if they were lost advancing. Robert (The Not Very Good General) lost his armour and trousers, so was obliged to flee to France where he died (probably still without trousers) in 1390(ish).

Thus, victorious the Lords Intelligent invited a Merciless Parliament to arrest all of Richard’s surviving favourites and have them executed on the grounds of treachery (ie being on the losing side) and wearing silly shoes (and thus offending God). Richard in order to remain The II was obliged not to get involved.

Fate and Richard

A reader could be forgiven at this stage for thinking Richard although still II was doomed to be insignificant, however at this stage Fate intervened in a not particularly kind but certainly advantageous ways; for historians that is.

The Scots (again)

In August 1388 The Scots, under the pretence of fighting for independence once more invaded northern England. The two armies met at the curiously named Otter’s Bum where the Scots won a famous victory which was made even more memorable by the glorious death of their leader James, Earl of Douglas (regrettably Douglas, Earl of James was not in attendance). The Scots at once celebrated by composing romantic ballads, going back home to seize each other’s lands and try to overthrow their own king Robert the II who was in his 70s and thanks to a papal dispensation had fourteen children.

The English did not see any cause to compose ballads, though missed the opportunity to compose a lament, instead they all rallied around Richard II who was now twenty-one and might grow out of his surliness and favourites. Although under the terms of Magna Carta Richard should have suffered for being king during a Scots’ Victory in this case he was exempt on the grounds of not being there at the time.

Queen Anne

Anne who despite being Bohemian and thus foreign was of such gentle, kind and generous nature that she managed the amazing status of being greatly loved by king, nobles and populace all at once, even convincing Richard not to chop off a few peasants’ heads. They had such a pure, goodly and caring marriage that no children arose. Sadly, she died of plague in 1394 and everyone mourned, particularly Richard.  Without having anyone of decent character and compassionate nature around him Richard, justifiably went mad but only slightly so he couldn’t really be deposed.

Uncle John

Despite being a great influence on Richard in the lad’s early years, because of trying to be Spanish, a mild delusion that he could be a castle and his third wife, also called Anne, but who was very common by now John of Gaunt wasn’t paying much attention to Richard. In fact, he did not notice that Richard had had John’s younger brother Thomas murdered and his own son Henry exiled. Both having been Lords Belligerent. Henry escaped execution on the technicality of having broken bollens. His father John, after years of public service, three wives, eight children and far too much Spain died in 1399.

As it can be seen without any restraining influences and with everyone scared of The Scots Richard now firmly ensconced as a II he had a free hand and decided to try out Tyranny.

The Very Interesting Era

The exact date when Richard decided to become a Tyrant is open to speculation, particularly as he never made a formal announcement on the subject. Conjecture suggests he would have started to dabble in it about 1388 on reaching the age of 21 and thus attaining his majority; ie he was the only king in England.

Richard felt that a lavish life style was befitting a king and so in addition to borrowing lots of money he also organised extravagant jousting tournaments, the prizes being so grand that knights from all over Europe attended. As there were any number of wars taking place in Europe these men were thus professionals and usually better than the home-grown completion who had to make do with the less challenging ‘disputes’ and ‘rivalries’. There was thus much grumbling from the English knights about professionalism ruining the game.

Richard was not concerned as he felt such a high profile would help him in his plan to become Holy Roman Emperor. This he believed would make him so important he would only have to worry about arguing with the Pope. Those who had been close to various Emperors and the dozens of princes, hundreds of lords and clutches of city states comprising the Empire would have said something in Latin which equivalented to ‘Good luck with that!’. Anyway, there had only just recently nearly been an English emperor called Richard, so no one continental wanted to risk another another one.

Short of money and not caring to be involved with the French militarily, Richard married the French King’s daughter. She being, six years old meant Richard had a large dowry and did not need to worry about her for another ten or so years. With the money, he was able to hire a large number of welsh archers on the understanding they could shoot at as many Englishmen as they liked, which ensured their loyalty.

Thus, feeling very secure when his uncle John died in January 1399 Richard said he was entitled to all of his uncle’s lands since John’s son Henry of the broken bollens was exiled and since he was traitor should be grateful for just being exiled.

Richard then noticed Ireland whose nobles and lords were so unruly that they were in rebellion against each other and simply not taking the king seriously, he therefore resolved to invade Ireland. This was a rather curious decision since it was supposed to be his and so he should be putting it down, not invading. His mistake was probably due to the large number of new Soothsayers he had hired to tell him The Sooth, The Whole Sooth and Nothing But The Sooth. They did not notice Henry son of John had landed in Yorkshire in April intent on getting back his lands and thus everything for Richard was suddenly going Sooth.

The Tragic Fall

Leaving the Irish to annoy each other Richard wisely landed in Wales in June or July (1399), but by then most of the nobles in in England had decided Henry should not just have his lands but also the throne. Henry decided they had a good point as he had male forebears whereas Richard’s were mixed up with female forebears, which proved by the laws of those days why he was a bad king and thus a traitor to himself. Richard had intended to discuss all this with Henry, but became so cross that he threw bonnets about the place and so was consigned to the Tower of London.

No one was quite sure to do with him, so they asked a bishop who gave thirty-three reasons why Richard had been a bad king; this naturally took a long time which only lawyers and other churchmen really appreciated and admired. Henry chaffed at the delay which had allowed some nobles who had profited from Richard’s reign to plot. In consequence Richard was moved from the Tower in a hurry and was misplaced, only to be discovered at Pontefract where either taking a very stubborn dislike to the cakes had starved to death, or preferably for Henry had expired of remorse at being a bad king. In either case Henry was obliged to place him sitting up in his coffin to prove he was dead.

This was such a tragic end people were able to write plays and novels about Richard II (who although weak supplied more interesting material than Richard the I) Also as he died so neatly in January 1400 he is only of the few kings to have memorable date of death and thus is of some benefit to folk who wish to appear to have some knowledge of history.

Legacy

Richard’s reign was so controversial and his fall so sudden, Henry was able to repair his bollens and the indulge in being two kings thus giving later generations barons a splendid excuse for a proper civil war.

All of which will be discussed in future chapters.

A True History of The Isles Vol II Chapter 6 – An Era of Everyone Getting Involved With Everyone Else (more than usual)

A Guide To The Results of an Election

General Election 2017 (UK that is)

 

 

Dear neighbours in the WP community. The 2017 UK General Election results and implications made simple:

Reason Why We Had A General Election and Why They Were Bad Reasons

Prime Minister Theresa May:

Wanted to show she was The Lady. (Well….that kinda worked out for her…..because at the moment no one else in their right mind wants the lousy job, at present, but the Conservatives are deadly good at fiendish plots against their own leaders)

Wanted to throw out of her cabinet a bunch of folk she’d been stuck with after David Cameron quit. (That might have worked- but the wrong way…some of them didn’t get re-elected and Labour got their seats. She should have realised there are always ‘Shock Results’ and someone big loses their ‘seat’)

Wanted to make things worse for Labour than they already were. (Bad idea! The only ones who are able to make things worse for Labour than they already are, are Labour themselves)

Wanted to grab back all those UKIP voters who now that there was no Brexit voting stuff weren’t too sure what to do with their time (Should have realised that people had begun to ‘think things’ through after Brexit and seen UKIP as a one-trick pony, and would amble away in all political directions this time around)

And finally.

Hoped she might lose Boris Johnson somewhere in the fracas (Good plan. Pity it didn’t work)

On to the next topic:

Reasons Why People Voted The Way They Did.

The Young Vote: For the last few years having been fed a steady stream of ‘You will have to work until you’re 75. We will also pass a law making it illegal for you to die any earlier’ and ‘If you want an education beyond counting up to 20 and learning your ABC you’ll have to borrow £20,000 per year and sell you first born to help pay it back’, there would have been a possible tendency to vote for a party with a more promising outlook to life.

The Elderly Vote: ‘If you start to get ill we’ll either let you starve and let nature take it course, then if you persist in being stubborn we’ll lock you away and recycle you for environmental purposes’ might have been the message they received from the Conservative Manifesto

The Middle Vote: ‘Keep working those two jobs for 50 hours a week and we’ll reduce your income tax by£1.75p a month’ was probably  not the most attractive theme.

Brexit: Everyone is confused anyway. So it didn’t matter to folk this time around. (Unless you were a die-hard UKIP member)

Other Issues:

The train service is still costly and lousy

Unless they get the funding right any government will take a hit on the NHS.

You knew there was something going wrong with the Conservative campaign when Labour and in particular Jeremy Corbyn felt secure enough to challenge the Conservatives on their safe ground of Law & Order and police numbers.

 

Implications

England: The map was turned upside down and conservatives did well(ish) in the north and Labour did well in the south. This will make everyone dizzy.

Wales: Plaid Cymru- The Welsh National Party snatched another seat. The conservatives made the great cultural error of spending more time and effort in North Wales, which naturally nfuriated voters in South Wales who promptly ditched them; North Wales wasn’t that impressed anyhow.

Scotland: No one in the SNP really read their history way back when which shows that not all scots when push comes to shove want to be independent, but since many a true Scot would not want to be led by somebody so obviously southern English as Jeremy Corbyn lots voted Tory, others feeling nostalgic for simpler times voted Labour or Liberal Democrats. Result SNP lost lotsa seats.

Northern Ireland (or Ulster): No one who lives outside of Ulster should ever try to understand why politics is the way it is in Northern Ireland; it will make your head spin. Suffice it to say folk voted along ‘community lines’. This meant the Democratic Unionist Party won the Protestant Unionist vote while Sinn Fein won the Catholic Republican vote so both sides could claim a great victory, even though Sinn Fein don’t actually take up their seats in The House of Commons and the Democratic Unionists Party don’t trust any other party in the, said The House of Commons.

 

What Is Happening:

The SNP (Scotland) – Have to pretend everything is fine, but don’t mention Independence ever again.

The Liberal Democrats- Were supposed to get completely wiped out but actually won 4 seats, thus returning to common the stance of the last 80 years ‘Oh! That’s a nice surprise! It should  have been worse’

Labour- Although Labour lost, ie had less seats than the Conservatives, they actually won, because they ended up with more seats than expected. Which in turn means that although they don’t get to form an government, means they can be seen to maybe be able to form an government next time around. Unless of course they shoot themselves in the feet by starting a traditional venomous internal argument over something which has no bearing on the day-to-day lives of the ordinary folk of this country.

Plaid Cymru and The Green Party- Have not gone away and although only have a total of five seats in such a circumstance are very important. The Green Party plays a very important role by having one seat, in that this presence will cause apoplexy in the USA Whitehouse if any one there should notice.

 

Who Is In Charge Now?

Well at present, and if nothing else happens by the time I finish this post. Prime Minister Theresa May (vocals and tambourine) and the Conservatives Government will still be able to limp along with the aid of the Democratic Unionist Party. How long this will last is anyone’s guess but should keep political pundits, academics, journalists and commentators in steady work for at least the rest of 2017.

When considering this arrangement, it should be born in mind;

That Catholic voters in England and Wales who voted for the Conservatives have now given the Hard-line Protestant Democratic Unionists Party a voice in their affairs.

Conversely;

The Hard-line Protestants of the DUP must now be grateful to the said Catholic voters in England and Wales for given them a voice in UK affairs.

This proves conclusively that God has a sense of humour.

 

This complex result will be difficult to explain to the amateurs currently cluttering up the Whitehouse in Washington USA and is best broken down as follows;

Theresa May is still Prime Minster, ie Big Boss Lady

No socialists are involved in the running of Central Government. Yet

Everything is fine. Except the things which aren’t and they don’t concern you, so keep your noses out of it.

No one cares what you think anyway.

That state visit is so not going to happen for a while.

Stay out of London.

 

Other than that The UK will provide a steady source of entertainment for those wo find politics funny.