Category Archives: Kindle Launch

Of Patchwork Warriors…Evidence of Interference and Malice

Hello Again.

Wigran Hendrechan here.

In your world I might be called, as I understand the term ‘a hacker’. To be honest our name of Jordisk has a more dignified ring, hailing from an ancient northern language it means Underground (I think).

I cannot spend too much time on this message. The LifeGuard Fortress at Drygnest is infamous for its sharp eyes and ears and dread for its long and deadly reach. These words were  transcripted from a text dispatched to Drygnest by Captain Dekyria. He is a moderately benign officer of the LifeGuard who I am obliged to work with, there is no option. Normally the work is not so onerous or conflicting with my other tasks. However, the Implication is there to behave.

And yet my consciousness will not let this recent deed go by. Here are the details, you must draw your own conclusions. I bid you farewell, for the present:

 

 

Dispatch: Breech in Confidentiality.

Category: Of Current Low Consequence.

Potential: Of possible risk prejudicial to future tasks.

 

Concerns arose of the safety of the scouting and intelligence gathering into the Realm known as 21st Century under the guise of co-operation with the native R J Llewellyn in his alleged work of fiction ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’.* (copy of cover attached)

Having read and examined this for any possible seditious themes I noticed he had gleaned an amount of detail on our own modes of strategy, tactics and long-term planning which were becoming excessive. This had garnered support amongst some of the other individuals involved in the narrative. An attempt to make a direct intrusion would have met with their protests and disruptions which could have had repercussions in related missions.

It was therefore judged best to insert into the initial printing a certain of number of errors which others would notice and cause the author to react. He is a fellow prone to bouts of frenetic but not very accurate or well thought out actions. Once these errors had been brought to his attention he was somewhat embarrassed and set to work to address the problem. In his haste to rectify matters he failed to notice my duplication of half a chapter in his second edition compounding the view of his presentation as being badly formulated and thus demeaning the work in popular terms.

Although this has not discouraged his production of distortion (with it has to be admitted some facts) into a second volume of his tale and the now published third edition of the original volume I am confident the disruptions embedded will lead to more uncertainty and degrading of confidence. This is turn will continue to reinforce his reluctance to make known his work and so ensure the operations of the LifeGuard remain basically unknown to his and our realm.

An apparent accidental termination of the fellow is not recommended lest by some quirk of this 21st Century Realm he becomes a cult figure.

 

Attested

Captain Dekyria.

*

*Patchwork 

‘Of Patchwork Warriors’: The Chapter Seventeen Incident- An Appeal for Discernment

‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ Wigran Hendrechan explains something of the forces at work

‘Ullo Everyone! It’s proper ‘Patchwork Warriors’ time!!

Advertisements

A True History of The Isles Vol.II Chap 11- The Scottish Way of Managing Things

Forewarned

As previous chapters have covered much of the activities of the Scots and how they upset or distracted the kings and northern nobility of England, there will be some brevity hereabouts

Initial Overview

In the previous volume it was annotated, recorded and generally written about, over the long history of these Isles the folk who lived in the part we call Scotland were wont to march south to raid, enslave, loot or conquer folk in places we now call Northern England. If we go even farther back to about half way through Volume I they did the same to those who were what we would call Welsh, only they were Britons and lived in a place called Strathclyde. Being a fair-minded folk The Scots of the lowlands of Scotland did the same to those who lived in the Highlands or the Islands (as opposed to Ireland, which is another matter). Thus, the Scots in general were a busy and industrious folk who when they had no particularly serious issue with outsides (or Highlanders or Islanders) fought amongst themselves for land, heritage and if they were ambitious enough the Scots throne.

The Perceived Wisdom of the Scots of the Middle Ages

It was an acknowledged fact of Scottish politics that no matter what had been done by whom and when, if the fighting involved the English (or to be precise the Norman Kings and nobles), at least one side was fighting for Scottish Independence, even if they had started it by invading England. As we will see this was used to good effect.

The problem facing those who survived long enough to be a king of Scotland was the number of other folk who wanted to be king and kept on asking some of those Norman lords (aka English) to the south if they could lend them a retinue to bolster the campaign. This became very irritating and Alexander III last of the Dunkeld had some very strong words with Edward I but did not invade, preferring to visit nuns, widows, virgins and in fact any women and as recorded previously died 1286 in a hurry to meet his new bride.

The Rise of The Bruces

Not happy with the other twelve or fifty candidates for the throne or people asking what an English king thought about it, The Bruce family acted. The Bruces from 1306 started by killing John III of Comyn who was Scots but might have wanted to be English

As John had been killed in a church Robert Bruce was quick to say this was only done to protect Scotland from being taken over by the English. In the confusion he then said that all his wars were against the Kings of England and various rouges bought by English Gold and so everything was a war of Independence which gave him the rite to invade not just England but Ireland as well. This worked quite well in Scotland but as noted previously did not do so well for Robert’s brother Edward who died of unconvinced Irish. Robert however defeated the English and their Norman kings, nobles etc at Bannockburn in 1324 on the 23rd June. A peace treaty was signed in which it was clearly stated that only scots nobles could massacre other scots nobles but that Robert could not be held responsible for cattle raiders. He then ruled Scotland but made a hobby of acquiring various ailments and so died in 1329, but the pope at the time said Robert could be buried, so all ended well.

A Time of Turbulence and Then Stability and then Not So Much

Because there was no Son The Bruce, matters were somewhat tempestuous between 1329 & 1356 when David (The II and a Bruce) and Edward (Not a Norman one but a Balliol) disputed who should be king. A lot of time was wasted with small battles, one king escaping from or imprisoning the other until Edward noticed no one was supporting him anymore and he retired.

With all this practice David (The II and no one arguing about it) set to massacring or just punishing disagreeable nobles and inventing a Treasury by which means he was able to prove that Scotland was very wealthy. Thus ahead of the game he cannily died in 1371.

Regrettably there was no David to be the III, so a nephew named Robert but who was really A Stewart was crowned The II. England and France at the time were having peace talks and Robert (The II) wanted to join in. This did not go well with his sons or other nobles and he spent the rest of his life losing his throne to various claimants until 1390 when he expired of coups.

In this unhappy situation Robert (the II)’s son, John said it was in order that he should now be king, because he had had experience at trying to depose David II and/or Edward and also rebel against his father. Although he convinced the Scots parliament to allow him to be called Robert and thus be The III, the nobles were not convinced. Considering some of these had splendid names such as Black Douglas, Red Douglas (possibly an early socialist) or Archibald The Grim it is easy to see why. He was also blamed for failing the pacify the west and north of Scotland where folk were wont Gaelic and opposed to Scots. It is likely he would have been deposed or slewed but for the king of England being Richard The II, The Hopeless and The Deposed. This allowed the nobles in the south of Scotland to raid, pillage, slaughter etc the north of England and not really care who might call themselves King of Scotland. He was to eventually die in 1406 0f ill-health possibly bought on by a series of Douglases.

The Church in Scotland    

Whereas the Scots had been properly Christian, they had to put up with the Archbishop of York telling them what to do. What with Scottish nobles raiding across the border this was not always an effective means of religious leadership. The Papacy in 1192 attempted to sort this out by telling Scottish bishops they didn’t have to speak to the Archbishop of York anymore. Regrettably due to a clerical oversight no Scots’ Archbishop was appointed even though the Scots’ church was titled Ecclesia Scoticana which sounded very important. For some obscure reason they were known as The Special Daughter of Rome even though they were more than one and naturally men. Thus, somewhat confused and not a little depressed the church in Scotland generally restricted itself to religious matters.

The Scottish Parliamentary Experience  

As was fashionable in parts of Europe various knights, local important un-nobles and folk with money felt the nobles were having far too much say in the running of things and so grumbled together. Kings liking the idea of having folk who were not nobles around the place allowed them to form parliaments. The idea unravelled a bit when these folk stopped just talking and gained powers.

In Scotland to avoid the attentions of nobles disagreeable or otherwise, these used never to meet in the same place but in various towns, then tell the king what they thought of things. By deft manoeuvring they even managed to gain some powers of taxation and telling the king what his name should be (See Robert III).

Unlike later commoners (see Oliver Cromwell) they were never able to gain an army and so their role was often marginal.

Clans

In the not uncommon circumstance of the various Middle Ages there was no shortage of folk to fight, the Scots very cannily invented the Clan. This was based around the family of a chief. However not only his family, but followers etc could join and all use the same name. This made raids, squabbles and wars a much neater affair as everyone knew which side they were on. Something not always shared in England and Ireland (Wales being in a bit of a sulk). Because the ordinary person gave loyalty to the Clan they did not have to listen to The King. Whereas this seemed a smidge democratic it meant that kings of Scotland developed aggressive tendencies, or went into a sulk neither of which boded well for stable or healthy long-term government. However, as the Clans survive to this day, theirs, it must be argued, was the better arrangement.

France

Because English Kings felt obliged, for many reasons, to fight both Scotland and France it was understandable the latter two should form an alliance. In Scotland, this was called The Auld Alliance, and to ensure everyone Scottish knew who was who The English were titled The Auld Enemy. This arrangement allowed the French and Scots to be very sentimental about each other and when it suited kings of either nation they could join with the other in wars with England without footling about with new treaties.

Conclusion of The 14th Century.

Although far from united, The Scots were able to maintain the argument that whatever they did was to ensure they remained independent from England. This enabled Scottish History to be Romantic so more socially attractive than England’s which was deemed only to be Eventful and Turbulent.

A True History of the Isles Vol II Chap 9 – The Celts A Necessary(Socialist) Overview

Shameless Advertising One ( A Sorta Link)

If you have been following this series and would like to know more then Volume I is available through Kindle 51vnj7ZqupL__SY346_ (Impress your friends, make controversial statements at parties, defy established historians, get sort of educated on the cheap, select your own quotes to use on any occasion, put things in context- throughout history there have been even bigger idiots than the current batch in charge!)

Shameless Advertising Two- (Tenuous Plugging of Product)

Has all this reading of legendary figures, heroic historical events and Middle Ages given you a previously unknown taste for Speculative Fiction verging on the Fantasy side?

Well, then look no further (apart from Patchwork Warriors Part 8 a sample), because there is a book out there which make be just the one you are looking for.

Read of heroes, villains, powers beyond the normal, battles, plots, comic interludes, romances (whichwillcontainscenesofanadultnature-terms and conditions apply) and the triumph of sort of good over sort of bad and the just plain evil. All packaged in a relatively lite format. AsBook Cover 9

Both available at $0.99 or £0.99 or whatever else this may translate into on Amazon Kindle!!

Book Covers Part II. If it was easy, where would the fun be?

And so to the Book Cover creation processes, thus far…..

In this my intention is three-fold:

  1. A narrative about someone creating a cover, not for self-aggrandisement but addressing those in a similar position to give them ideas such as ‘Hmm. That gives me an idea’ or ‘Well, if he can try it I think I can’ or ‘OK, maybe I can get make my own cover’ or even ‘Oh yeh! I am definitely going to back to those professional sites!’ and especially ’I need to read another blog or six on this subject’ All these reactions and any permutations of them are valid, and you go for it! I’m with you all the way !!

2. Since I now embrace the idea that telling folk about your book before you publish it is important, this is in part giving Of Patchwork Warriors another airing.

3. The case for the defence when the evidence comes under the dispassionate gazed for those better versed in the skill.

Laying Down The Strategy

As previously acknowledged since my skills in this subject are minimal it was essential to include any scrap, sliver or mote of imagery which bore relevance to a central aspect of the narrative while at the same time being very basic. In sticking to simplicity this production would be shorn of any figures or faces, which would place emphasis on the props and the atmosphere. This at one gave a certain freedom of movement while concentrating the mind on the type of items to be placed.

Narrative and Imaging Working In Harmony (Sort of)

Central to ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ are the actions and relationships of three young women set with a task they were not expecting. It is never made truly clear if they were ‘Thrown Together By Chance’ or ‘Manoeuvred By Forces’. What is clear they do not act as others or each other expect them to. This lends an air of the ragged and improvisation which suited my Cover-Work just fine! To reflect this I was relying on these three characters and their backgrounds:

Arketre Beritt– Soldier. Medician in The LifeGuard (medic in an elite regiment). Southern drawl when being intense. Used to roughing it on active duty. Adept at making her own potions.

Karlyn Nahtinee– Mysterious. Self-appointed hunter of evil (aka Whychery). Acrobatic. Uncanny sense of smell and empathy with Nature. Adept killer. Skewed and whimsical. Vulnerable (And a heck of a struggle to stop her being read as a Harley Quinn ‘knock-off’- Frustration was ….I thought of her prototype before I started reading Batman again).

Trelli– Housemaid by profession. Thanks to the incautious effects of the household son’ Infected’ with the ‘power’ aka ‘The Ethereal’. Tracked and rescued/abducted by Arketre and Karlyn (long story). Trying to maintain her composure, control this intrusive power and not be overwhelmed by Arketre and particularly Karlyn.

The dynamics of the trio’s journeying, overcoming tribulations and growing relationships comes to dominate the narrative as they become the effective opposition to destructive powers. Therefore, a cover which illustrated their collective and individual passages upon a landscape would be a valid and importantly an attainable image.

On Taking Holes and Adjusting Them To Fit Pegs Into

So three folk travelling. Campsite. Ideal to scatter items around which should also figure as signatures of the circumstances and maybe the characters. This actually turned into a two-way street, when it struck me that if I bought a cheap, plastic prop sword it would look like a cheap…plastic….prop..sword?  And what was with those cheap fancy dress pirate boots?, They shone like something….cheap. Some thought was required. Back to the Campsite:

Small Fire?-Of course. And naturally some battered mugs-easy we have a surfeit of old mugs, just paint them dingy. These were folk travelling a long road in an uncertain situation so it was all in the rough. Trelli being practical would have the others reasonably clean, so socks and shirt/top drying after a sort of wash. Arketre making potions, one discarded pot would not come amiss. Trelli being bothered by the Ethereal which manifests in Red and Blue, so scatter some red and blue bits. Karlyn what about her? No sword, well I have a wooden stave in the house from the time my son was practicing some martial art stuff. Yes that would fit. Just do a bit of a re-write to include a stave, in her weaponry, which made sense since she liked to sit up trees and a big sword while balanced on a branch does not seem a good idea. And I can build in Trelli’s slippers (my wife discarded a pair recently, I smeared them with some goldish paint). Yeh, that all fits.

Best of all it hopefully it will look odd and make folk wonder…..I hope(d).

That’s All Very Well But Does It Fly?

Well, let’s look shall we……….

And my back garden/yard in its ‘wild’ theme (gardening is not our strong suite)

Cover 4

(This is one of the 30+ shots taken on a damp early autumnal morn…..problem one the events are taking place in the spring. Can’t wait. Karlyn is given the statement that some trees are confused, which is useful, underlines her unearthliness. But green and brown. Does it look interesting enough for Fantasy? My wife said ‘No’ and I trust her implicitly with colour sense. (I kept Karlyn’s lines in anyhow)……..)

Since Reds and Blues figure in the theme I took what was available in the editing process in Word and tried a blue.

Cover 5 

Ok, so everything I wanted to appear is appearing and the atmosphere looks somewhat unusual, and you can’t see anyone., not seeing anyone leaves the appearance up to the reader’s imagination. There’s a bit of a pathway showing; one important chapter does take place in ruins, but is this ruined enough? So I tried to edge it out with some paintbrushing, lines of red and blue (Ethereal or officially titled ‘Stommigheid’)

Cover 2

Yes, so there are these two pronounced patches of red and blue. Question is. Are they too cartoony? Do they look unreal enough?  If I put my author’s name in that corner would that distract? Should I leave the red and blue out and use the previous picture? I’m something of a believer of ‘Leave it settle. Come back in a few days and look at it again with fresh eyes’ Thus the project is left for those few days. I have to admit to a certain degree of satisfaction. Let’s hope to the Good Lord God (that’s a phrase you’ll find in the book, or variations thereupon) this will translate onto an Amazon Kindle format and the title will fit. Anyhow some more tinkering maybe required, that’s assuming this Windows 10 format can handle it 

At least I know how my characters feel, having to make things up as they go along.

Book Covers- Part I The Journey Begins

Of Patchwork Warriors Part 1

“Of Patchwork Warriors” – Let The Book Be Launched

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Covers- Part I The Journey Begins

 

Book Covers

51vnj7ZqupL__SY346_ (actually this image has nothing much to do with the post, it’s just a shameless plug…..on sale on Kindle, the first volume in a peerless work of history of the Isles of Wales, Ireland, England and Scotland- yeh!…. and also how to use a stock photo and almost get away with it)

This is a post of two parts.

For ease of navigation and convention you are reading the first part.

This part serves several functions:245px-1271754717_william-e.-gladstone

It is a useful read for those who have not yet considered book covers, as it is a frank account of the dilemmas you will encounter.

Me

For folk who take the production of book covers seriously it is an insight into a mind of someone who would take the production of book covers to a respectable level if someone thwacked him about the head.Gunner Sargeant Hartman

Fans of whimsical posts which skirt with Reality are invited to My World.manners

Students of Human Nature are allowed to reach their own conclusions.imagesKUX2E4NS

Facing the Unavoidable

Once upon time, I resided in a frame of mind which abjured the harsh realities of making a book known to the public. When a narrative had been framed into chapters and reached a conclusion that was that. The book cover was something to be chosen from a limited supply of publishers’ free covers; the notion being the irony of my choice would be so obvious to the public they would clamber to purchase my volume(s).

NNQP Vol 1(No kidding folks, that’s the cover of Vol I of the Nearly Not Quite Paladins trilogy…..a comic fantasy work)

Sad, isn’t it? (don’t go there, one day it will turn up on Kindle…free)

Anyways, having signed up to WordPress and read a number of intelligent, informative and helpful blogs the truth finally sunk in.

Take the cover as seriously as the writing yo-yo!

Thus, ever lurking in the middle of my mind was the inescapable finality; I would have to have a unique cover to my book otherwise the best part of two years would wither or worse go perrffft!!

Oh What To Do??

The Professional Approach

A few posts went into practicalities of paying for a design. Now this made irrefutably good sense, after all established and successful writers aren’t renowned for designing their own covers? There was a problem there- the budget did not extend to cover such a cost. It could be argued the capital spent would be an investment. A fair enough argument for many and I would not stand in their way; but Ah me……the paradox and the conflict of not being able to justify my expenditure on my work.

The Skilled and Artistic Approach

Much to my surprise and fascination there were indeed numerous folk out their designing covers for their own books, and the skill I could only admire. One example; Rachael Ritchley whose YA series of book glow with imaginative and beautiful covers.

I concluded, therefore this was for me, I shall design my own. All I need is to find the write….sorry….right format/programme/something-or-other.

The…Uh?….What Do I Do Next?…..Where Do I Save This?…Where’s the Other Half of The Cover Gone? Approach

When faced with the process of choosing the right format/programme…etc, there was my usual problem. In studying these formats etc I have the attention and perception span of an adolescent male attending a history class dealing with the politics of choosing a 14th Century Holy Roman Emperor while said male has just witnessed the school cheerleaders in practice.  In short I…am…very…..annoying. (If it is any consolation to those who have the maturity to handle the serious production of book covers I am equally annoying to myself).

Once more…’Thus’ did follow the usual internal debate as to how to circumvent this.

I desire a book cover which reflects the content.

But, like hey man, all this procedure….Like man, it’s too heavy for me, y’know. Like too intense man; too far out.

Usual answer, Do It On The Hoof and See What Happens.

Here We Go Then….

Within these strictures I set to work, solidifying ideas swilling about my head for months

I had a notion on the nature of a cover which would represent one central facet of the narrative. I had worked out an image, which was possible to replicate onto a photo.

I had a location.

I had a thematic to work with.

And I had Windows Gallery, which I could work with.

All on the proverbial Hoof fitting in with:

My intention to produce a book cover

A workable format

A system

In the next post will be a narrative of the progress, so far.

 

A Sum of Wyrds on Motivations, Inspirations, and Justifications (and probably a bunch of other ‘tions’)

 So this time (sometime in early 2016) I said to myself: ‘OK, you are going to approach this project in a serious, mature and planned approach. You will consider plot, you will reduce the number of words in a sentence, you will make sure the paragraph makes sense, you will watch out for those spelling mistookes that are beyond the capacities of Word Spullchuck. You will learn just what is meant by syntax and do something about it and above all you will read the wise words of the WP bloggers who have books published and sold them.’

To which I replied ‘By crimminy you are write! I will attend accordingly, honour the art, respect the words of other bloggers, and learn. I will place aside money for Editors and professional Covers. I will figure out how best to use Social Media and build up a potential reader base. And have more than one re-write and by sometime in 2017 the First Volume of The Patchwork Warriors will be launched as a sober and sensible venture!’

20151207_192046

I meant it folks, I truly did. As Brandon Sanderson and Joe Abercrombie are my witnesses! The was going to be the start of a series of Serious (with an underlying sardonic humour) Fantasy Novels (Albeit with a lite touch). The target was to reach a THREE figure sales number on Volume One. This was to be a reversal of the previous venture which was Three Volumes with a total combined sales of One.      

 

 

Thus, so it; the work began. Some of you who have been reading this blog for a while will be familiar with announcements, sort of progress reports and extracts all from The Patchwork Warriors. Ah there was in truth, much effort and there were several starts ditched, lots of promising chapters & extracts consigned to Copy & Paste- In A Holding File for Possible Future Use (Useful tip there folks when editing always keep the bits- you never know)

But then, gentle reader, across the great ocean of The Writers’ Muse   came the siren songs of The Anarchical (“chaotic, without order or rule,” from Greek anarkhos “without head or chief”). For they did ride along on Brexit Winds and thus did tempt and so draw me to start upon A True History of The Isles (CurrentlyforsalesonAmazonKindle-termsandconditionsapply). 51vnj7ZqupL__SY346_

Actually this project by my standards was a roaring success, not only was it well received in blog posts so that folk knew about it, but I managed to get it into on book format and upload as a Kindle- now there it looked odd as the chapters did break up but ran into each other. But, BUT to date FOUR! Yes FOUR copies have been sold, and only that but a 5***** review from one Nancy3333!…..Yea team WBH!!!!(well sort of, because it was still sloppy with typos and a few long obtuse sentences).solilqy

Despite this I then forged ahead and by Jan 2017 (or was it Feb?) I had completed the first draft of TPW, and not pausing for breath or even breadth ploughed on with the re-write. In this case not only referring to notes made to ensure continuity but also writing up a diary of the passage of time passing within the narrative (and having to cheat a lot to make all events match up, but you can do that in a Fantasy novel). Yes this would be the big break through By Jove!

Yeah, about that…

The budget for Editing and Cover…without going into ‘family business’ in detail; it’s gone, and quite frankly I would do it all again and again and again without a second thought, just ‘Because’. Hey, Life eh?2nd Dec 15 Blog

But was that a stumbling block? Heavens T’Betsy no! The most important feature of the whole business was to put the story together and to get this out in some sort of form. Its fate would be left to the whims of fortune and circumstance, as usual, and of course now belong to the ages (in so far as the memories of the computers are to be trusted). Thus onwards and ever forwards to completion!!

One facet of this sort of mindset does lead me to a type of free-form which for better or for worse does save me having to worry too much about structure. Some folk will quite rightly make an argument against this approach, and I would not attempt to take issue with them, only to say this is the fate I have chosen for my work. Nor would I urge anyone to make a distinct choice for this option, only to say: ‘It is there’. Working with Fantasy does give me a certain leeway in this, particularly in a world where the conventional laws of physics as we know them are prone to elaborations which none of the characters if they are honest truly grasp. This may seem again like cheating to some, but when you have your time fixed on a multi-volume work there will be other opportunities to sort this out later down the line.

crazy-lime-cartoon-jumping-happy-35166861

The question:

But why in the Name of Tolkien do you progress upon such an anarchical path with little hope of success, recognition or return?William Shakespeare

Is a perfectly valid one; if asked by a person who leads Word Press blogs as opposed to the insufferable professional who insists that all authors should idly crawl upon hands and knees on the path of being selected by the correct editors or agents and do as they are told.

The answer if my case is. Because I have created something which is mine; this world has been crafted by my hands; these characters have had live breathed into them, this plot has been fashioned by imagination. This is all my work. This is enough. I need no more.

The last three sentences are the only part which I actually commend as basic advice.

But if you are looking to make a certain level of income or career out of your writing, please dear reader find some other worthier blog

In the meantime, sometime in the possibly late summer will appear ‘The Patchwork Warriors’ as Volume I of ‘The…….. (errr I’ve not worked that bit out yet) or maybe ‘…………….’ as Volume I of ‘The Patchwork Warriors’- I’ll get back to you on that!b85885aa0fd01f0cbebaa2798639b472

Meanwhile keep writing folks….make me proud!

More on BAD Writers, while also considering Heroics Writers and Inexperienced Writers

In the soft stillness of the early morning I glared at the inoffensive radio as I resolved not to listen to whatever ‘those idiots’ are up to ( ever since Brexit I have had a much wider category of Those Idiots). I then turned my attention to firstly the kettle jug, and then the laptop; making sure I had the right roles adjudicated to each it was time to ponder on yesterday as the cereal went suitably soggy.

Had I been too apocalyptic and polemic in my post on BAD writing. Had the results caused many a writer to feel that they were Less Than The Dust Beneath Thy Chariot Wheel (Adela Florence Nicolson wrote under the pseudonym Laurence Hope); should not matters be re-addressed and clarified?

I feel they should (Pauses to refer to notes, finds he is looking at yesterday’s shopping list. The way this week has been going, is not surprised. Carries on anyhow)

The position as I see it must be considered thus, in relation to the variety of motivations for writing, the approaches, the styles and of course the underlying thematic influences prevalent in Society in general contemporaneous with the author’s perceptions (with that off-the-cuff piece feels that he has rescued the business of having lost his notes and nurtures the return of his confidence)

 

In this we can view three broad categories of writers who have not yet reached that ever evasive term of ‘Successful’. However before progressing it is important to bear in mind we are not addressing the question of a person’s ability to write, but their approach to becoming published.

Thus let us separate out these other circumstances, which do not count as BAD

Inexperienced Writers:

If you have decided to embark upon the venture of writing, of whatever sort but have no idea as to how you are to go about transferring your words on paper or computer file to book, article, short story and so forth by definition you are inexperienced. This is a simple statement and not a judgement. A whole wide and wonderful world awaits you and on Word Press there are myriad of helpful and knowledgeable bloggers. I am not one of those, my words are those of caution and bad example. You should as I have written often be taking notes of my posts on writing and doing the opposite.

Heroic Writers:

Are you following blogs of those folk who have been published and sold books, articles, short stories or poems (single of collections)? Are you following their advice? Are you downloading some of those aids to writing? Are you doing all that should be done as per the advice?

And still getting rejections? Yet not submitting to the urge to give up the whole thing?

Then you are indeed Heroic! No matter how wretched you may feel. Or wonder if there is something inherently wrong with you for wanting to carry on. This is not so! It is not your fault you keep encountering editors who are not in tune with your style. You cannot be held responsible for their short comings. As long as you are following the advice given out, then at some stage all will be well.

You may wish to self-publish, if you do so then again there is much good advice out in the WP community, again you will not find any of it here. Other than to ignore those ‘precious’ snobbish professionals who decry self-publishing; they are simply given vent to their fears that folk will ditch their self-referential and pretentious stuff and seek out more genuine work.

Let Edison’s wise words be your standard: ‘I have not failed, I have merely found 10,000 ways which do not work’.

Nourish your urge to write, let no one dare to suggest you stop. You owe this to yourself and to the world.

BAD Writers :

Three days ago, I embarked on writing this part, then found I was obliged to travel a reflective, nay, even existentialist path in considering just would qualify as BAD, and even what is ….’BAD’-

(You know the sort of thing, you come across a concept and you go Wiki-ing, then you find the concept is sub-divided into legion of categories and you get lost in the Wik-tunnels but escape before you go dizzy and fall over. Then having gleaned a smidge of knowledge you happen to mention it en passant on some social site causing a fully signed up member of the Huff ‘N Puff Lodge to tell you, you are wrong with all the long-winded turgid self-important pomposity their narrow little mind can manage)

Anyway, after this period of reflection and having carefully categorised various concepts of BAD while endeavoring not to sound denigrating or accusatory, I found I added approx 2,000 extra words to this post. This could have been acceptable had not the various explanations have gone into convolutions and abstractions which would serve no purpose other than project exercises for  trainee editors and  proof-readers and the type of fodder for that sort of pedant who trawls the Internet for new reasons to be outraged and demonstrate their inconsequential somethingorotherness.

Or writers  who are fascinated by weird things.

So I considered the following:

There is nothing to be gained by throwing away your hours of toil, because you did not have someone proof read your work OR if you could not afford that did not check you work with painstaking thoroughness. And if you do self -publish in such a way you will only serve that ghastly crew of professionals who seek out such errors and squawk with indecent shrillness as if one careless writer is representative of the whole.

Whereas there is much to be said for exploding upon the world with enthusiasm and determination, if you’ve not actually given fayre (sic) warning of what is one its way, then no one will notice you amongst all the exploding folk. Of course, there is nothing with being modest and not wishing to make a fuss over your work, you may be quite content to quietly ease it out into the world, and you never know who might notice; thus embrace your inner modesty.

To discover there are so many ways to enhance your profile and hone the work into publishable and sellable material

EG: I cite two examples of You-Should-Visit-These

Rachael Ritchley https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/34052196

Yecheilyah Ysrayl https://thepbsblog.com

Both ladies (That’s a British compliment by the way) work hard at presentation, variety and offer invaluable advice for anyone starting out, floundering a bit, or very confused by the whole business.

And ‘Hey! That’s useful, I really should do that….and I don’t’ is really the essence of being BAD

Ergo ( or Disce aut discede, if you prefer) I am where I am today.

And can only deduce I must be displaying sloppiness.

But changing the blog to Heroically Sloppy Writer just looks……… odd

Therefore at this stage, I cease this post and leave you to draw your own lessons and conclusion, but beg you to continue with your writing lest we be subsumed in The pretentious, The formulaic, and The ‘wow that last tax-bill really stung, I’d better rattle off something quick’

Be heroic

Don’t be sloppy.

Marketing Day 3. No Excuses Thursday

Marketing Day.2 ‘Man! Can you believe this cat?’ *

Marketing Day 3. No Excuses Thursday

So……

This book launch.

I dutifully adjusted every page as advised by Kindle, the chapters still run into each other; the price was set as 0.99cents  Amazon UK shows 0.99p as Amazon US shows $1.20. Now normally this would give me sufficient material to blog a post bewailing my fate as an author being tormented by the vagaries, and I could be ironic, sardonic & satirical.

No chance…..not this time…no sneaking out under a smoke-screen of humour.

Because…..

So there I was, scrolling through the ‘See What’s Inside’ and I’d barely reach half-way through and I found one grammatical error and one extra ‘(‘ which had slipped in.

Oh lackadaisical fellow!! You transgressor of how many Writer’s-Basic-Rules-I-Don’t-Not-Know! You BAD writer!!

I now leave the more experienced and successful to shake their heads and go about their business and address these remarks o those who are just starting out or who are half-way through starting out OR have stopped starting out and wondering where to go next.

Y’see this is where ‘The’ BAD comes in.

BAD Writer: Dfn–  Ascribed to their approach in publishing their work

It is all nice enough to be able write well, and to feel the satisfaction of a work completed. HOWEVER when the next move comes which is putting the work out into the public domain, then one must really have more than just a few degrees of practical sobriety.

Before anything say to yourself several times a day: ‘I will see my work published. I will not wait on the vagaries of editors. I will self-publish.’

OK: As follows

Preparation

This can go on while you are writing.

Covers

Well, there are self-publishing outlets that supply formatted covers and some of us like deluded ourselves into thinking readership will get the ironic meaning of the cover. BAD- the laws of probability demand there will be books into double if not triple figures with the same cover. Then you’ll be relying on the title to be eye-catching and this can lead to hyperbole which just looks odd to the reader. Thus research those services that provide covers and cost them. Or if you are skilled in photography, computer graphics and combinations thereof you can work on one yourself.

Writing tools

No not pen, paper, or a laptop! Don’t try and be cute!!. Go and Search Engine and see what I mean….No I am a BAD writer I do not use such stuff I would not know what to suggest or where to start or how to use them. Thus my books are patchworks( shameless plug) of plot and characters where continuity struggles to make itself known. This is fine if you are messing about with a Fantasy work (BAD writers always mess about), but can lead to trouble with any other genre.

Editors

It’s no use me trying to write any words of sense on the matter. I will not be told. I know best. I care not for a professional’s opinion. My ephemeral audience who is waiting in the ethereal knowledge that I out there (or here) writing for them will understand when the work arrives. This is BAD approach if you are intending to be very serious and professional about your work. If you can’t afford an editor then seek out a Beta-Reader.

Thus as you are writing your work and can be researching the above and learning about other aspects which I have overlooked, forgotten or not known about because I am a BAD writer.

Now your work is completed and you want everything to smoothly (f’rinstance, editors or Beta-readers might accept a few typos or other errors but wading through pages of them will not create a good impression)

Firstly

Have someone read the work for spelling, typos, grammar and odd things which Word has snuck in when you weren’t looking. If you can’t find someone then read the work yourself, but do be detached look only for the above, otherwise you’ll be re-writing forever and forever.

Secondly

If you decided you didn’t want anybody telling you what to do with your work, then you had best go over again and put yourself in the place of another reader. Print out the whole book and look at; it’s surprising once you see your work in the cold-light of print of different it looks. (Be honest, are not some of those paragraphs a bit long and cover too many scenes?)

Thirdly   

Apart from friends and family, does anyone out there know what you are a doing of. Have you been Twittering, Facebooking, Blogging etc about your project? Even I blog about my writing. Having a few folk knowing what’s on its way does help.

Fourthly

There’s bound to be at least a Fourthly but I can’t think of it, that’s what BAD writers are all about.

Lastly

Never give up, that’s really BAD!!

 

Ah me, I shall away now to my allegorical castle battlements and since it is conveniently night time I will look out of the slowly flowing river, observe the rippled reflection of the full moon and address a soliloquy on the pains of authorship to the pine forest on the other bank.

Marketing Day.2 ‘Man! Can you believe this cat?’ *

 

 

 

Marketing Day.2 ‘Man! Can you believe this cat?’ *

Sometimes you just can beat a bit of Latin to sum up a situation; in this case

Alea Icata Est (I bet you know it, there again if  I’m wrong not don’t worry, it’s easy to google).

 

The trouble with my mind is it is prone to febrile-fit. On Saturday night, last I decided all was well with The History of the Isles project and I would place it upon Kindle, and the whole thing went smoothly (sort of; I learnt about TN104s from the IRS and a funny bank number I didn’t realise was there- it’s for overseas stuff) and was thus quite wired when the whole thing was finished.

Then I found I could access the proposed layout and noticed some of the chapters were running together, but in my appallingly frivolous mind-set judged this to be either all part of what Kindle does, or ‘gosh, well I’m done with it now’ and went ahead with what I laughingly call marketing.Marketing Day- A True History of The Isles is a Book!!

Ah, and cameth Sunday and reflections.’ Just what the heck (or other words) do you think you’re up to, man?? You’ve asked folk to shell out cash…..Never Mind How Much!….We are talking principles here!!..On a shabby bit of work. Get your brain out of whatever part of the anatomy it’s slithered into and do something about it!!’……For once I was quite acquiescent, and agreed to do so but not frantic because according to Amazon the book wouldn’t be out until Tuesday. So today was scheduled.

There now follows that rare episode when this blog produces a useful bit of technical stuff.

If you are intending to publish via Kindle and are using Word, and wish for chapters not to run together, then at the end of every chapter, click on INSERT and then PAGE BREAK….errrr…that’s it.

Thus this afternoon I followed this advice and all seemed to go ok and I guessed that another 72hrs would go by before the book saw the light of Amazon; thus Thursday, sometime. The problem this time being previously I could find a draft of the Kindle Book, but access, seemed to have vanished. But everything was cool, yeh?

So this evening tide I just checked the status and Oh My Sainted Aunt, the book was ‘Live’…..Live? I scrambled over to Kindle, and there it was…I read the extract, and there were the chapters…..all running together. (and as the characters in my fantasy project say when exasperated or alarmed)…..Oh frib!!

Now whether or not this will be amended through the wonders of modern cyber-things I cannot say; lucky for me the project is humorous.

Ah, this is me folks when in ‘publishing mode’. This is where the ‘Heroically Bad’ bit comes in. This is probably why my projects should only be carried out under strict supervision. This is where all folk who are new to writing and are regular readers of my blogs are advised to start making notes under the heading ‘What Not To Do’

This is where I say….’Goodnight all’

 

Tomorrow we shall consider more of ‘What Not To Do’

Inventions

*

For those of you not familiar with 1950s/1960s idioms, approximate equivalents in use today:

“WTF!!?” (naturally)

“Oh honestly!! (more All-Age socially acceptable)

“Ah…Those Who Cannot Learn From The Past Are Condemned To Repeat It,” (for best affect said in a sombre tone with a sad shake of the head)

“Quite frankly, he deserves a clip around the ear ‘ole!” (traditional brit-speak, but the practice is now illegal)

“Get your act together!!”

“Dude!” (which seems to cover all situations)

Marketing Day- A True History of The Isles is a Book!!

It is here, as intimated in previous posts!don_martin-running_like_mad

That which began as a simple means of releasing frustrations and downright annoyance at the nascent and ridiculous nationalism released by the Brexit Fur-ren-dumb. Which then evolved into a series of posts has now taken book form and within the next 60 hours (or so) will be available through Amazon’s Kindle for the economic sum of 0.80p or 0.99 cents or 0.93 of a euro, and so forth. (ratesofexchangemayvarypleasecheckyourconverter).Victorian writing

(At this point I was going to insert a YouTube of Handel’s The Halleluiah Chorus, but since I might get into copyright problems because this post can be classed as Marketing…..errr…I didn’t…so instead here’s a picture of Handel  Handel_GF 

and you can hum the tune)

Title??

Oh yes, of course silly me!!muttley_laughing_by_sektor8bit-d7fv6sh

The True History of The Isles Volume 1 Prehistory to 1216 Ce-ish.

My authorship name is R J Llewellyn, but searching by that method is not advised; at least not in the UK because normally you get referred to either very academic books or erotica, neither of which I remotely associated with (You know how quirky the Amazon search engine can be).funny-victorian-era-photos-silly-vintage-photography-9-575132ee985f9__700

As with all writers of histories I hope to cause controversies, be labelled as a ……….. (whatever), be vilified in prestigious history journals and Joy of Joys be criticised on social mediaDaffy duck for as the old show-biz agent’s saying goes ‘No Publicity Is Bad Publicity’

To mark this event, there will be a series of posts this week covering such topics as:

Doesn’t Kindle Do Funny Things To The Layout of Your Book, and Why I Left It As It Was.(serious reason)

How Not To Market A Book (The Heroically Bad Writer explains they are who they are)

How To Get The Best Out Of This Book

Some Thoughts on Writing Histories.

Some Thoughts on Writing.

Future Volumes

I will also confirm that Amazon’s computers have not gone all Skynet 20160109_153650 and have actually placed it as available. Tuesday 14th March 2017 19:00 GMT (I think)

In conclusion….Thanks my fellow WP community members; you have made it possible that another book has been produced…….As for the ramifications of that event  I will shoulder the blame.

 

A True History of These Isles-Introduction and Part 1