Category Archives: Dialogue

Every Picture Tells A Story???

Sometimes a picture just…well y’know….it begs a comment:

Flirty Singles

(the following dialogue inspired by the great Bob Newhart)

‘Ah Good Morning Miss Singles. Welcome to the job interview. Can I get you a glass of water? Tea? Coffee? Sure coffee! And, black, yea. No sugar, sure….Just a spoonful of salt? (nervous laugh)..well that’s different…Eh keeps you focused does it? I’ll have to…err…look into that.

Now construction site work. What a lot of folk don’t realise that in addition to being quite labour intensive, a lot of skill is needed so I hope you don’t mind if some of my questions seems a measure intrusive…Err would you like a tissue Miss Singles..looks like you got something in your eye..Ah I see, that just a twitch..Yeh! Quite twitch. Guess it’s dust and pollen……. and maybe the gun powder? Make your own bullets do you? Well I make my own flies for fishing, so… …Anyway. Now I have to ask (laughs). Your first name there, it’s…… I see….uhh-huh…Yeh grandparents sometimes make some freaky requests of their children….Oh made their money in the 1960s on the West Coast, yeh…kinda makes sense now….Have you ever discussed this with them. Ah, both died in a house fire…I’ll just get your some paper towelling, you spilled some of your coffee when you were giggling. And your parents?….Those creeps are still alive y’say….Well I guess that ties up that line of enquiry.

I see you went through twenty schools. Did you parents move much? No. Hmm, some places can be picky can’t they? Did the kids call you silly-nick names….Yeh I guess it would have gone better for them if they had….. Sports? Gridiron, I didn’t know some schools had girls’ teams…..Not in a girls’ team… Offensive tackle? No kidding, they are usually kinda taller….You say it an’t needed when you jump at the face….Yeh that would be different…Hmm…Now my opinion is those guys were being a bit whinny, it is a contact sport after all, just as long as you didn’t try and wrench the helmet off….Only the once…He used your first name did he? How did I know?….oh….. just a lucky guess.

Ah I see here you signed up for the Marines…..And were dropped out of basic training because your drill sergeant and the rest of the squad were getting nightmares…. Special forces said they needed stealth not banshee screaming. Geez, I hate to come across as sounding stuffy and cranky but they don’t breed them as tough as they did in my day…Nah…cooks and that’s no walk in the park I can tell you! Now this rejection from the Chicago Police Department to my mind just isn’t helpful, I mean what does ‘Hah! Not until Hell Freezes Over’ offer to the applicant? It’s just not helpful.

OK, before we go out and try out on site there, if you don’t mind me asking, who took the photo? It’s only just first impressions y’understand but…..ahhh…doesn’t seem your style. Oh….right.…..So your mother…Sorry, as you wish…This three-dammed witch…. is good at photoshop and all that..stuff…Oh on FaceBook and Instagram……Gee that’s tough. But I guess that mothers for you trying to get you married….My, that is some twitch!

Well anyway, here we are. Office being on site. As you can see a lot of construction going on here….HEY guys! You might wanna tone down the remarks….YEH? Well Joe it’s my opinion you’re damn lucky you are up there and not down here! Don’t worry I’ll have a word with them at lunch break….Sure…ha-ha….for their own sakes.

OK, so this is Harry our site foreman. No Harry I wouldn’t make too much of that twitch if I were you. I’d be careful there Harry…Yeh I kinda guessed she’d have thought sorta grip in her handshake, put it in cold water after, swelling’ll go down. So this is Miss Singles…No Harry, her first name isn’t important, truly Harry you want to trust me on that one. Remember how I was right about that gas leak?…Well it’s the same kind of situation Harry. Yeh, glad you see it my way.

Sorry Miss Singles, just a little bit of construction site chat there. Now I’d….You like to try out with the sledgehammer? Oh sure, if you feel that way. That piece of old granite foundation there …Yeh….I guess if……OK, then, there you go…..Yeh I know Harry, that’s one hellava swing there…..No I don’t know what she’s putting on the rock, some, I dunno, looks like a photo…..Yeeaaaaah I gotta feeling it might be an old family photo and…WOA!..No I don’t think was a lucky strike there Harry, and you should come out from behind that truck and see her swing again! No I think you’re exaggerating there, I reckon you did see worse shrapnel in Iraq! Geez-Louise willya look at that, split straight down the middle! I don’t see you need worry about the scream when she swings Harry, I mean you watch those tennis players on the tournaments, the racket they kick up…..Hey! The Racket! Didja get that one Harry?…Oh c’mon Harry you are the site foreman, just ducking when Miss Singles swings isn’t good for your image……JOE! Look I warned you about your comments, that’s just not appropriate……..Now y’see Joe you just provoked that! Thinking she couldn’t hit you with a chunk of granite you being two stories up. Well more fool you fellah!…..Wassat Charlie? Well if your daughter’s little league team needs a new pitching coach, I guess you’d better discuss that with Miss Singles after your shift there, not my business buddy.

Ok Miss Singles, that block of granite looks like it’s ready for the bagging and spreading on someone’s pathway now, you might want to stop…Yeh, if there’s still bit of the photo left, when you’re ready then. But I’m convinced we can use you around here….Pardon…..Oh sure you can take the sledgehammer home to prove to your parents you got the job. The way you’re stroking it, you obviously like the…..We call it a tool on site Miss Singles, not a weapon…….Excuse me a minute…..Joe! Now fellah it’s no use you  clinging to that girder and whimpering, you’re getting in the way of Bill’s riveting there….Boy some of these guys are such cry-babies!

So you start tomorrow then Miss Singles. Pardon…Oh no, you don’t have to be so formal and call me Mr. Nightly…..’Jay’ will do, just like the intial…Uh? Nah I never use the full name, that was my parents’ fascination with east European culture..Jerkov, yeh….yeh! No they aren’t around anymore, died in a tragic freak car accident. Apparently an electrical fault, caused  a petrol explosion….Yeh…Tough break.

Well, then see ya tomorrow! Y’know I got a feeling you and I are going to get along just fine!

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4th July. It’s Yours By Right USA

Polyester-American-Flag-ER-2

4th July

 

The United States of America, North America, America, USA, and this is your national holiday and this will be the first one I can recollect in which some Americans experience unease or regret about celebrating for they are ashamed of the current circumstances in which they perceive their country is in. I am sorry for those folk that they must feel this way and it would be disingenuous not to say it is easy to understand why. To have the holder of the office of president who has no political experience, has a questionable reputation and seems to have scant regard for the population as a whole must be a bitter experience, particularly when as sometimes happens in democracies the winner was not the one with the majority of  votes cast.

I could continue, writing at length about the despicable and shameless displays of bigotry and hatred which weak-minded folk claim is their right to free speech, while conveniently ignoring the duty of an adult to behave responsibly and maintain the stability of a community. But why should a sully the name of this day of celebration?

Let us look at all The United States of America and not a warped minority.                              ;

Yours is a young nation. We have 1776 as an expedient year of your birth, but your forebears discontent and then anger must have been growing long before that; let’s say three hundred years in the making. In terms of many nations you have only just begun; say four hundred years ago as a start, large scale of immigrations and constantly in waves. People restless to escape strictures of their homelands, looking for space to start afresh. Not much in age in comparison to other nations. It could be argued that you are still in the process of settling down, still learning to gell, but of course that does not always happen. There are enough examples in the world; all fractured places, their prejudices and ignorance used by more powerful neighbours as means to dominate and exploit. Let that be a warning. History never sleeps.

There is a fondness in the world to list the evils of the USA as if every other nation has a spotless record. There are injustices, there are crimes, and many have been carried on under a diluted blaspheming of the phrases ‘freedom of speech’ or ‘constitutional right’. But the folk of the USA learnt all these tricks from their ancestors in the ‘old countries’. As reprehensible as they are they are not American inventions. And in the USA brave, noble and determined folk fought long and hard against these injustices to the extent that they are now viewed as abhorrent though like all things precious that won must be fought for, always lest the evil, the weak and the stupid corrode them.

To return to that ‘respectable prejudice’ so indulged in, say the UK ,to be scornful of Americans as indulgent, self-absorbed, somehow not as intelligent. What sheer ignorance these folk spout. Need I take the time to list American novelists, poets, composers, artists, humourists, actors, playwrights, scholars, humanitarians, scientists, musicians, innovators, philosophers, inventors and so forth? Well obviously, I would have to because these tiny people have never heard of them!

But let us consider two facets. Let us think of these times, these past few years. We consider the return of the hate and ignorance, of the bombast and the puerile, the venal and the scavengers. They have crawled over your nation before; but they have been pushed back into corners, they have been exposed and found wanting. Unable to stand before the power of the ordinary, the generous of heart and spirit, the courageous, the decent, even the foolhardy. Oh, these wretched folk have brought their ‘populous crowds’, but all their efforts withered beneath the light and the heat of the ordinary Americans and these lesser folk were obliged to slink back into their corners. America look at the those myriad of gifted folk who have come from your ranks, and what can these corrosive elements offer in response, but to stew into their own bitter concoctions?

So let me tell you about you friendliness, your generosity, your willingness to help, your enthusiasm, your thoughtfulness. All these aspects which I see daily on WP. Let me mention your constitution and your separation of powers, which at the end of the day will bend any group of malefactors to the joint will. You have stood up and fought before, you have brought them down. You in your many groups with your differing views have come together and breathed life back into a flagging system, the result may not have been perfect, may have been ragged around the edges but it worked.

You are still in the making though, your states, your communities are in constant change because of your youth, and your myriad cultures coming together. You have made much progress, despite those who would try and drag you into some past based on servility to wealth and privilege and false divisions based on colour or religion. There may well come a time when the pressures will be too great for a 300,000,000+; 5 time zone nation to hold. That is actually no disgrace, nations like land masses break and  re-form. You may end up separated from some small bitter little enclaves where folk pretend they are free while being owned by larger powers. But this I know; the true United States of America will hold strong, yes it may be slightly smaller; it happens. But as a people you can stand proud and hold fast to humanity.

So meet with your loved ones, your friends and your neighbours, celebrate those matters and concepts you hold common, share friendship, community and love. Make your 4th of July 2017 a time when you say ‘No more hate. No more division’. You are worth it.

Happy 4th July USA.

A Message from the Borderlands

 

Unless embarking on a collaboration, the writer is carrying the sole exciting, and frightening responsibility of their work. They have the final decision on how their work will be shown to the world, be that world in the form of the public, an editor, or a beta-reader.

You’ve sat there, hit the ground running with the excitement of an idea to be put into a readable format and maybe sprinted along for a while, before the realisation strikes you that this is a long haul. Your short work must be economic but with enough colour and depth to capture the reader. Your novel must keep up a steady pace and hold the readers’ interest. Your non-fiction work, balance facts with keeping the reader’s attention. All tough calls. And personally, how poets do what they do is something I can only admire!

So you work hard, you strive on. Interests and determination sometimes are prone to a measure of waxing and waning. Reappraisal, self-editing, evaluation all taking place. The plot and the characters sometimes veer off from where you intended them to go. None of this should be discouraging; the creative process is a constant, living thing; this intangible force will drive, nag and steer you when other parts of you begin to tire.

No two journeys are the same; individual writers naturally differ, add to that the factor that each may have a different motivation for writing a new work and in come a large number of variables to the endeavour; that’s before we even start to consider changes in mood, and new outside experiences. Ongoing always ongoing.

At this stage I bring in tales of my own recent adventure. If you are new to the blog, basic back story, previous efforts- ‘big bust’, no one to blame but myself- everything which could be conducted incorrectly was carried out incorrectly, to-the-letter! Anyhows, time for a more sensible, structured, sober approach; basically- think of the reader this time.

Thus did I embark on another visit to the world of my previous fantasy novels, with less comedy and ‘Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy’ asides. I tried to be truly serious this time, but the comedy, the little digs at some of the conventions of the Fantasy genre and my sheer dislike of some types of villains were wont to slip in, I concluded this was how I wrote- therefore work with it to make the whole business readable and entertaining.

And one day the book was concluded and so began to re-write (x 2); during these episodes the sudden surge of excitement and the new consequential layers of character, rationale, invention and dynamics took over. Typos, syntax, continuity aside this was pulling me along; imagine being outside of your work, watching it develop of its own volition in the environment you created. This was the feeling I was undergoing in the first and second re-write. All other writing and much associated blogging on hold; this must be completed; the characters and their world and yearning to be known!

‘Of Patchwork Warrior’ (Volume One of The Precipice Dominions), completed and awaiting examination by the public, and this time not just the sense of completion but that bubbling of excitement. Don’t worry, I tell myself, if this is another falling flat result; the important aspect was the thrill of the process. I, me, am not done with writing!

Enough about me and mine then. I bring you a message from the borderlands where the finished work meets the presentation to the world in general. All your efforts will be worth the time, energy and thought because you will have, by your own strength of purpose and intention completed your creation; and when all is said done, dusted, analysed, reviewed and revisited, this cannot be taken away from you.

Strive on writer.

Well bless my boots, I’m almost taking my writing seriously!!

The Patchwork Warriors # 1

 

Strive on writer.

You will not prosper Evil

Light of Writing 2

Manchester: 22 dead. Maybe 60 injured. This was a concert which would have attracted children. The perpetrator had been consumed by Evil. Only Evil would make this calculation.

Evil which feeds on Hate. Hate which is the spawn of ignorance and intolerance.

All this toxicity thrives in the hot emotions of fury. Anyone who rages against the community this fool came from joins hands with their Brothers and Sisters in Hate; they are being consumed in the sewer. There is no room for this.

Think then on the dead innocents, but think also of those who turned up to offer lifts, help, food and drink, comfort; came from their beds, switched off their taxi metres did what they could to help folk in peril.

Then sit somewhere quiet, think, ponder or pray for the dead, injured their families and friends, for the communities who are now living in dread from the Brothers and Sisters in Hate who will be prowling looking to vomit their bile.

Resolve never to look at a person and because of their community, orientation, religion, politics or whatever and point the finger of judgement and emotion. Smile, hold open a door, if you don’t agree, shrug and say ‘I don’t see it that way,’ help.

We owe it to the thousands of dead, injured and damaged of these past tragic decades.

Friends, Brothers, Sisters, Neighbours. Hold strong. Compassion. Respect and Tolerance

An Open Invitation concerning Presidential Inauguration Day 20th January 2017

I have read statements as to why this is either a step on the road to return to liberty or the greatest disaster to fall upon Humankind since 3rd September 1939 (which kind of forgets the Chinese who had had a few years of misery already). There have been the usual encounters with hyperbole and the sense that the writers are preaching to their own group. Now since President Elect Donald Trump is not the sort of person to engender a non-committal shrug I must assume we have two specific camps; with those who write professionally and wish to retain their reputations as impartial analysist doing their very best to come across as being so detached as to be positively Spockian. All well and good.

So my next question is along these lines.

Can those of you who voted for Donald Trump explain to me why you reached the conclusion this was the correct choice? Since the media(s) seem to delight in trying to make us paranoid I have add ‘this is not a trick question’ (whatever that is supposed to be). I have a genuine interest in the motivation and the rationale which led to the casting of the vote.

(Now I should warn you I have a nil tolerance for any answers which contain abuse against persons, assertions of alleged wrong doings, conspiracy notions etc, etc. Don’t bother. I- Don’t-Care. Not interested. Off you go, agitate the gravel. You are dealing with someone who has read a lot of history, and History is a stern teacher. And there is no one in Human history who does not carry a string of accusations against them from one group are another, or a list of shortcomings. )

Thus I will be hoping to receive a rational, intelligent, carefully constructed explanation as to why you voted for Donald Trump. Therefore, this should be a positive argument concentrating upon his features.

I would not have posted this if I did not have a genuine interest. These should be times of dialogue and genuine exchanges of information. Shouting, accusations, abuse, YouTube ‘journalism’ & Facebook ranting doesn’t cut it in my own little hard-left socialist / Roman Catholic world.

I await replies, please.