‘Yes, Arketre I’ll do it now. Promise. Honest,’
Oh, she’s a dear friend, but I’m not inclined to her ‘Soldiers have to get on with it’, approach on account of not being one. In fact not starting out as anything to do with heroics, which I now understand is standard fayre for this sort of tale. Nonetheless, I have to say the circumstance is not making anything easier for me.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Trelli, recently when feeling a bit giddy and fed up of a lot of people telling me what to do I changed my name to Trelyvana Waywanderer which thinking back was a bit of silly move, what is sillier though is folk taking the name seriously. Although I don’t suppose that should be so surprising as the whole thing is very, very, very odd.
You will have read comments from other folk involved in this book ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’ and some will have told you they chanced upon it, other volunteered, or were sent ‘here’. As for myself, I don’t know how I got ‘here’. One morning I woke up, as usual, will all the memories of my quite good time as a housemaid then sort of housekeeper at the Hendrechan household. Then I found myself involved in this tale of unnatural powers, adventures, escapes, escapades and all the business which goes with it.
In the tale, I often am found saying ‘I don’t know how’ and words like those. Well, truly ‘I don’t know how’. It is a very good thing my friends are Karlyn and Arketre otherwise it would be a very messy business indeed. I did not really know what I was supposed to say about the book, until Arketre said ‘Jus’ say what on yore mind sweetie’ in her usual kindly way.
It’s the author or whatever he is supposed to be who annoys me most of the time. Let me explain something there.
He keeps giving me powers without explaining just how or why very much. He has me doing things which I am sure wouldn’t be that easy for a person to do who had only just got involved in such business. I don’t even have a proper training narrative, no wise person to help me along and it might look good to see a previously simply housemaid (nearly housekeeper) go up against a horrid lord, but it is a most upsetting experience when you don’t know what the frib you are doing!
Then there’s the romance stuff! Of course, he assumes that every humble housemaid (would have been housekeeper shortly!) must be looking to fall in love with any likely fellow who turns up. There was this ‘Will they? Won’t they?’ stuff with Wigran, well I had to put my foot down on any sloppiness there! I told the writer ‘Look! You snatch me out of my good living and spoil my career prospects. You bust up my comfy little town. You have me witness all sorts of unpleasant things; have you ever tried to prepare breakfast with dead bodies about the place? You have me lifting half houses and other very trying acts…and after all that you expect me to flutter my eyelashes and coo after some lad who’s had an easy time in the whole spiffling book! Then you have me thinking the most improper thoughts in the most difficult of situations. Personally, I would never do such a thing!’
Yes, it is an adventure which is a thrill and Karlyn is my really good friend. I admit it was kind of him to have me use my domestic skills to make sure Karlyn and Arketre didn’t fall unhealthy (and Arketre a healer too!). That said I do expect for the writer to have a bit of reality with this romance and bawdiness business, just not comfortable with it at this stage. It’s ok for Wigran him being a young male in a large city with lax morals, it’s fine for Karlyn and Arketre who have had…ah…more experience of that part of life but I would like a bit of chance to just get used to everything.
I hope he listens, this author, but he does remind me of Wigran, dashing off in all directions without much planning. I mean he made a right mess of that last edition of the book and he was supposed to have published a new edition by now!
I would never let him in my kitchen!
Or trust him cleaning the best crystal.
Still, I’m not giving up on the tale, he dragged me in here, so I am fribbing well staying, and am going to make sure any romances will be believable ones!
And I am not going to tell you buy the book, while it is in such a state. So you’d better wait for the silly fellow to get himself sorted out in the next few days