Of Patchwork Warriors (What the Earth he is on about- ie a Glossary)

Firstly, once more thank you for taking the time to read, offer constructive thoughts and messages of support. Ron@ ronbrownx came up with the very solid suggestion that a glossary would be useful and there has been a timely reminder by Audrey of Audrey Driscoll’s Blog audreydriscoll.com

Since I have too much fun making up words and phrases to suit my world it is only fair that this matter should be addressed. So I have approached this in alphabetical order rather than trying to be too technical and sub-divide into topics (that only works if someone is inspired to make a role-playing game out of this….oooh royalties…yeh right). Anyhows, here we go

Naturally folk being folk there are a lot of vulgarities here. Also ‘Karlyn’ makes up her own words.

Age of Conceits: The official name given to the era which gave rise to the current problems in the world. This led to the Age of Retributions

Age of Remorse: The official name for The Present

Age of Retributions: The official name for the era when it was alleged everything went wrong

Astatheia: This is the LifeGuard term for The Ethereal; similar in meaning but with more of a warning

Being placed unfortunate: When an unmarried girl becomes pregnant.

Centrus Sea: Mediterranean

Crocked: -Broken. Stupid. Wrong

Decan– The equivalent of one week. Time does not run in ‘Patchwork’ as we are

used to. Hence a ‘week’ there is ten days long (decan stolen from decade)

Devoteds– Basically equivalent of nuns, but not as in Sound of Music

Donger– Naughty word. Penis

Equesteria– LifeGuard rank for a trooper charged with the care of horses. (another obviously stolen word)

Ethereal– Jordisk term for the power which affects the world. Was in the ‘Age of Conceits’ the official term. In theory can be harnessed. In practice, dangerous (very).

Fayre– The way they spell ‘fair’- just sounds nice to me

Fifth Hell– The worse place possible- All sorts of torments for the really deserving. And also used for a really bad state of circumstances (Think Fubar)

First Hell – Believed to be the place where the annoyingly stupid end up. Also used to describe someone ‘Certain to the First’

Foggea: Possibly what’s left of the isles off the western coast of the imperial mainland

Fourth Hell – Fear. Reserved for heretics and ‘minor’ criminals (legal and moral); where they can see the Fifth Hell. Also indicating you are truly scared.

Frib– Common mild expletive (also fribbin’ or fribbing)

Gawdelpusal– Elidian accent exhortation for ‘God Help Us’

Ghitanixday– Fifth day of the decan- when workers get a half day (terrible pun based on American sardonic phrase ‘Gee thanks’)

Goodlawdgawd– Elidian ‘Good Lord God’ (usually used when surprised)

Grassshopping– LifeGuard term for people using the Astatheia to cover short distances

Grim The – Elidian term for the LifeGuard.

Hengestatia- Somewhere in the central part of the Oakhostian Empire where reside folk with similarities to the current population of the USA; sort of divided in the North (Nordd) and South (Sudd); the former of a ‘western’ style; the latter of a..err southern style

Happy Sliding on a Stick– Very vulgar term. Used as expletive of surprise, exasperation or insult (just imagine where the stick is going and you’ll get the message)

Jordy- Slang term for Jordisk- Normally used by Karlyn

Kerfluffeg– A Karlyn word for confusion or confused

Knobbling– A Karlyn word with many meanings including tricked, confused, trapped, outwitted and occasionally just plain rude.

Lady Green Vixen; Captain-Sister-to-Us-All- Exclamation used by women in the LifeGuard a reference to the legendary Sherevine of the Chasserai

La Rovina– As used by Sinola Mietitore and his team The tuscatalian term for The Ethereal (based on the Italian word for ‘Bane’)

Libratery: Equivalent to Convents. Very socially active. With their own networks and strictures. Low profile but not to be fooled with.

Little Hell– A common expletive of annoyance; ‘Little’ added to denote from the realms of Hell

Lord God’s Jewel – The religious term for The World

Lunation – In the Patchwork world this equals a month. Four decans equal one lunation There are ten lunations in a year. So there are 400 days in a year. (err possibly days are shorter- haven’t worked that out yet)

Manse– An old word for house (possibly of Scots’ origin)- Here used to denote a largish building more strong than a mansion and possibly where suspicious deeds are carried out.

Medician– LifeGuard rank of medic.

Mediphsic– A medician’s kit

Mentor – Common folk’s terms for a priest (aka Translator)

Midden – The more acceptable word for ‘shit’. When the latter is used things are really very, very bad.

Nanonsphere– A Jordisk term for the environment (and a hint to the reader)

Noodle-hutch – Karlyn’s word for somebody currently or permanently unstable

The Oakhostian– The empire; think Europe

Oculator- Standard term for devices used to observe events going on in ‘The Power’. Also used for communication over great distances and in some cases for transportation. Some folk insist on their own grandiose terms (I’ll warn you)

Oculartragen- A LifeGuard invention. A portable Oculator to be used on missions, mostly for short range tracking and short to medium range communication

Old spikeys/ spikies – Elidian term for demons

Ordinance: Generic terms for both artillery and artillery projectiles

Owls- LifeGuard term for the troopers who work the Oculators

Paladinic- A word whispered amongst Jordisk for legendary books which are considered true accounts of events during the Age of Conceits (for those of you new to my writings, this is an in-joke to my three previous volumes of screwball fantasy, on which most of the groundwork here in Patchwork is based)

Particular Boils: What men get when they are not careful who they…ahem…indulge with

Roder: A location which takes in what used to be the Middle East, Turkey, Iran. A place of richly exotic and dangerous folk, who look upon their neighbours to the west and irresponsible and barbaric. Somewhat feared.

Salutation: Only used by women as a sarcastic term for periods. Men are wary of the word and as one ‘we shouldn’t use’

Sanded Lands: Basically the area we might recognise as North Africa. A collection of nations which the Oakhostian folk are wary of on account of seeing them as ‘exoctic’, although quite a lot of trade and travel goes on between them (mostly dubious)

Scraith: The most vulgar word; meaning violent sexual abuse.

Scrope; A Karlyn word, she uses in terms of general insult.

Scothia: Located on the far north-west of the empire. Rugged and bleak. Seems to be occupied by folk who are vaguely Scottish. Has a ‘past’

Second Hell – Confusion; think SANFU. A place where fussy people are sent to annoy each other in all eternity

Silly-bugger– Familiar to British peoples, means Stupid, or being Stupid

Slaughter of Lowden Moor– A Term relating to a violent solution to a problem, referencing to a particular pointless, bloody and indecisive battle between two contenders for the imperial throne

Slovosskia: The vast empire and constant rival to the east of The Oakhostian. Always in a state of hostilities of one intensity or another.

Spiffle-An almost socially acceptable exclamation of dismay

Splosh/Splooshes – Latrines

Sproggle hole– A Karlyn word, vague in meaning, probably rude

Squirrel-head – Crazy, crazed, frenetic

Squirtz – Exclamation of dismay with its origins in the expulsion of bodily fluids

Stommigheid- The official term for the Ethereal (based on the Danish word for Foolishness)

Stommigheidate– An accusation of use of the Stommigheid

Stormhiggle – A common mispronunciation of the above

Third Hell – A place of Pain. Where generally nasty folk go. Possibly a place you dwell prior to going to The Fifth Hell. Also what you would say when whatever it is really, really hurts.

Thousand – It is a feature of ‘The Patchwork’ world (and likely due to ‘The Power’) that folk do not have any devices for measuring the passage of time in a day. There seems to be an innate sense. Folk will say ‘A Five’ for a very short instance. What we would call ‘A Minute’ they refer to as ‘A Twenty’. An hour is known as ‘A Thousand’. A day is comprised of ‘Twenty-Five Thousands’. Although often organised into watches, by those who organise things

Tildelte-  A person whom a custodian has officially decreed is their assistant (another Danish-based word of ‘allotted’ )

Todger– If you’re British you’ll know. If you’re American ‘Dick’

Translator– A priest: Translator of the Word of The Lord God

Translator Pastoral – Next rank up, usual duties organising priests (in some locations a bit like a sheepdog really)

Tuscatalia: Basically where Italy is geographical; politically – Late Middle Ages/Renaissance. Tends to produce a worrisome number of very capable and astute folk when it comes to plotting and subtle daring-do.

Twonk- Elidian term of insult. Means ‘Fool’

Walnuts- Elidian term of insult for stupid folk

Whychie – Common term for Jordisk (actual spelling varies)

Whychery- Common terms for what Whychies get up to

Wobble – A vulgar term…. basically…ehh..self-gratification. Unless prefaced by ‘A’ & suffixed by ‘r’ in which case a generally useless person.

Zerstorung: A dread realm populated by creatures considered demonic; ( german word for ‘destruction’- I think)

Of Patchwork Warriors Episode 1

Of Patchwork Warriors Episode 2

Of Patchwork Warriors Episode 3


6 thoughts on “Of Patchwork Warriors (What the Earth he is on about- ie a Glossary)

  1. Quote: “Second Hell – Confusion; think SANFU. A place where fussy people are sent to annoy each other in all eternity” Do you mean “SNAFU” (as in military parlance, “situation normal, all fucked up”? ) I don’t see an entry for “THE LORD GOD”. Who would that be, since earth is her/his jewel?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. (1) Arrgh! Stupid typos! Will I not be free of them!
      (2) ‘The Lord God,’ is left deliberately obscure for the present; just the deity folk revere. The official religion, without much in the way of fanatics, in fact a pretty sloppily running outfit with a lot of lip service and much fussiness in minor inconsequential details; apart from a few like the character Meradat.


      1. Quote: “The official religion, without much in the way of fanatics, in fact a pretty sloppily running outfit with a lot of lip service and much fussiness in minor inconsequential details” Methinks you just described the world’s major religion’s process in a nutshell. Well, except for the “fanatics” part… we have way too many of those here and now.

        Liked by 1 person

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