The Patchwork Warriors…. The Dairy I should have been keeping. (Or how to milk a fallow spell) (or well How dee-doo-doo-Da-Da, this fine day?)

12th May 2017.

If you have been reading this blog for a while you’ll be used to this sort of diversion…..If you are new, don’t worry it’s not you…..It’s me that’s tilted …….

Ah me. Would that the scales of distraction fall from this eye of my mind. Oh to feel the fresh breezes of inspiration upon this torpid soul sunk deep in the mire of this field of lassitude. Dear sweet muses alight upon me and transport me from this place of discordant voices with their bitter and sterile litanies of hate and discord…..trilby

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Oh hi there! Err….. you caught me there in one of my proto-Shakespeare modes. If I had a gloomy stage with view props I would be stalking up and down with a troubled expression, and handful of meaningful pauses, a vocal range from low baritone, and making the audience feel I had a nasty cold to high tenor which would wake them or wonder I had stubbed my toe. I should also have at least one gaze into middle distance.

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Oh no gentle reader, do not take concern or trouble yourself, I am just in between re-righting the re-write.

This has been quite an interesting journey because I reached the stage where the plot lurched sideways in a storm caused by the sudden perception that the book was going to be too long. You see one of the challenges when you are writing fantasy is to see if you can encapsulate at least one major plot, a few sub-plots, say three or four major characters, a dozen or so minor characters at least three separate nations or other notions and a whole world of your making into less than 150,000 words. Not easy y’know, not when you are not an A NAME, or when you’ve NOT been doing all that sensible spade work on various social media sites encouraging folk to look forward to the final book OR working on a cover OR….oh I dunno…whatever mature and focused authors do. Anyway I broke through that barrier, sort of as I commit the possible cardinal sin of fantasy writing and try and fit in a feel-good ending.

(Pause to switch on the lights, illuminating the stage, and kicking away the ostentatiously sparse props)

I mean, what is wrong with a feel-good ending? Don’t we have enough misery and unhappiness out there being force fed to us in a sensational way? Are there not enough folk on both sides of the political divide who are screaming that those opposing (or deemed to be opposing) them should be cast(eth) out into the Darkness, in the name of Free Speech, while not ‘digging’ the fact that they are both actually on the same page?….Oh frib’ now I durn lost m’way with a distraction…..so where wuz I?

Oh yeh. So what was really wrong with ‘The Ridiculous 6’? So the critics didn’t like it, well boo-hooo! I mean I know it’s not High Wit and…..

Errr…???..No..ummm…………….. that wasn’t what I was talking about was it???

Hold on folks, just check that thing on Wikipedia you’ve been meaning to, I’ll be back in a minute or so…..

pogo.stick.10

Ah-ha, yes! The Feel-Good Factor. That’s what we were talking about wasn’t it? Yes, whereas I tip my hat to the various Giants of Fantasy, is it necessary to have a ripping  good tale without a high body count (ignoring background folk who haven’t got a line much less a name and some of the lesser villains who really don’t deserve a free-ride out). So it’s down to working out the final escape and the reasonably happy end of this episode, and then it’s down to the next re-write, which will have to be the last one too; ‘because I will be safe in the knowledge that no professional critic will ever get to know about the book, which of course will belong to History and to be discovered by later generations- I play the long game. 

(This has been a lesson in one possible strategy in filling up a blog space when you are not really focused but feel you have to say something. AND as always in the keeping of the spirit of this blog, here is another lesson in how you SHOULD NOT be doing things; unless of course you are over 65 and don’t really give a frib’*)

(shameless plugAdverts: Read how to use this* and other alternative words in the upcoming fantasy novel…… THE PATCHWORK WARRIORS…..impress your friends with a whole new range of profanities and odd sayings )

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9 thoughts on “The Patchwork Warriors…. The Dairy I should have been keeping. (Or how to milk a fallow spell) (or well How dee-doo-doo-Da-Da, this fine day?)

  1. I just knew Grumpy would say, “Just a “like” and that’s it? I go to all that trouble to set the stage, mime and pantomime and talk about launching books into Humour Space, and she thinks she’ll get away with just a “Like”? Not happening, lady. You’re commenting, like it or not, and see? What did I tell you? There’s my comment. Now that didn’t hurt, did it? What did it cost you, huh? ‘Plunk, plunk, plunkety-plunk’ in between your sips on your usual Friday evening cheap white wine while waiting (was that a bit of an alliterative phrase?) for your friend to show up. Now come on, admit it: some of that was funny, wasn’t it? Didn’t crack your lipstick, but you did smile, I sensed it.”

    Yes, OK Roger, I did smile, and I have to admit, I enjoyed reading all of it, and even wondering how an “electric corset” would feel. But I wouldn’t go back to the Edwardian era or thereabouts to find out. Thanks for the smiles.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah Sha Tara that was a genuine natural smile from the heart, I felt it.
      One of the more esoteric levels of being a Grumpy is getting people to smile when they don’t want to. Or annoying people who deserve to be annoyed by being anarchic…..sadly the latter group by their definition are very rare on Word Press.
      Keep on being yourself.
      Roger

      Like

  2. When my thoughts take paths like this, I call it a ‘mind-bounce’, because it is as if there were one of those little bouncy balls inside my head hopping around in some random fashion, ignoring the paths that I set out for it. That said, I loved this post and had a few good chuckles! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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