I am sorry to have missed out on many posts. Some folk would say I have made a rod for my own back by following too many blogs. This is easy for some to say, my response is it is difficult to choose when there are so many interesting posts. I should of course organise my day to look at the ‘Reader’ field more regularly, however my mind is slower these days. After years of having to think at a frenetic pace in public service, it is tired and objects to such swiftness. It tells me that to look once a day should be sufficient to the way it organises my life. This does lead to a large number to scroll through, which would not be a problem if it were not for some of the quirks inherent in Word Press.
It is difficult to discern just what the problem may be. There is the nagging doubt; is one is up to the task of dealing with modern communications? There again, are these machines not our servants? You see I fail to see why WP has this obsession with me viewing the latest post. After all is it not good manners that one should deal with the earliest post first? This does not occur to WP, it seems to put up with me scrolling down to a post which may be a day or two old and even visiting the selected item, but once I try to move onto the next one WP becomes impatient with me. By its own speed of processing data it seems to think I am dwelling in the very deep past and insists on transporting me to something which has been posted up 36mins ago and pointing that even since the time elapsed in rushing me to this point there maybe later posts awaiting my attention. It is no use me trying to scroll back to where I was; WP will not assist in speeding me there, even if I beg by right-clicking the Black to Notifications, it seems quite dismissive and simply leaves me where I am. WP appears to believe I should spend most of day attached to the site and following every post as it arises and will not be satisfied with any reasonable human suggesting to any other variation.
Whereas I do concede that it would serve me better if I could seek some accommodation with the system which would enable me to make a swifter response, I do object to WP trying to interfere with me corresponding with other blogger. I fail to see why it should place a little red dot over its bell if it will not let me do anything other ‘like’. If I try to reply, beyond an emjoi WP will tend to become truculent, it will not respond to my keyboard unless I am thuggish with it and then halfway through it will decide my style in correspondence is so dated I am in need of assistance and in consequence WP convinces my feeble-willed mouse to summon up some kindly mid-western person who interrupts my flow with a cheery ‘Howdy. How May I Help You?’- I bear this happy soul no ill-will, if I were to need them on a street in a small town and they made such a salutation I daresay we would get on famously over coffee and suchwhich. But on WP I am confused, I was not intending to ask for help, what sort of question to frame is beyond me apart from maybe an existentialist ‘Why?’, which since this would be transmitted to someone seated in a helpdesk environment would come across as strange to say the least. This is bad enough, but WP sometimes grows bored with me typing away in a small box and decides it needs to transport me to a menu which it feels is far more in keeping with how it sees things. This has the same function, but does not seem to know what I was writing. This leaves me with the option to either start writing the same sort of thing again or tap onto that little bell and hope WP has kept my script. It does this in a sulky way, eventually allowing me to find where I was but still being truculent will not allow me to continuing to type. It decides to play games, it might make me go back to the bell and tap the icon again, I am glad it does not actually ring that would be annoying, it also feels the need to teach me a lesson and send me back to the fair neater other menu. Thus with my resolve, concentration and creativity ebbing away I am reduced to concluding swiftly and pressing send. WP then teases me by encouraging my laptop to display that little revolving circle for a worrying amount of time and not truly indicating whether my reply has been sent or not.
By now I have the feeling of walking in a cyber fog, not being sure whether my location is my own blog site or on someone else’s, in the meantime WP is pretending there are more (or less) posts than there could be by hiding some from sight. I lose track of temporal perception, forget I should have taken some medication which would explain something. In the meantime, the Word Document icon is glaring at me wishing to know why I am spending time on WP when there is a book to progress with. It is no use me trying to explain to Windows 10 my problems with WP, Windows 10 is unsympathetic to appeals for any assistance. Windows 10 seems programmed not to reply to anything but suggest you seek advice on a User Forum, which is populated by folk whose knowledge of computers is so far ahead of mine I feel I should be sitting under a tree cracking open things with big rocks.
By this time, I am either in a slough of despondency having been made by WP to seem foolish in the eyes of my fellow-bloggers, or it has triggered the latent anger which is simmering ever since Windows 10 decided it would not allow Windows Media to play 75% of the music I have downloaded or ripped telling me ‘there is something wrong’ or there is ‘some problem’. At this stage I resolve to meet out some sort of twisted vengeance on all programmers. I will seek out both those involved in Windows & WP, in the dead of night I will conduct an ancient British dance of vengeance in their back garden; in which the performer wears large clumsy boots and hops up and down upon a flower bed or vegetable patch. (Students of folklore are advised not to seek out the details, this is simply the product of my fevered imagination). If I find they reside in apartments I will rent the one above them and in the dead of night and by means of the overflow exit of the bath indulge in Robert Newtown/ Long John Silver and Charlton Heston /Captain Laughton spontaneous conversations, in the knowledge this will register in their bathroom and disturb them, either that or ride a child’s tricycle in the room above their bedroom while doing W C Field’s impressions. All of this is quite bizarre of course but am sure you can appreciate the lengths I have been driven to.
Of course by now I am quite exhausted by the whole thing and shall have to start again tomorrow.
How am I supposed to continue with my post encouraging folk to maintain a calm and balanced outlook in the light of recent political events with such trials and tribulations?
Thank goodness my Spotify Playlist has reached Bob Dylan’s ‘Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door’…ahhhh peace…….