Superpowers….Whooooosh!!

Now you must have read the previous post……?…….

Well please do so……Superpower Challenge

Thank you!! ( By the way Gwin’s blog always has something bright and certain to get your mind and heart moving- well worth a visit )

This was a challenge I just could not resist. It just had to be super-fast!!

But first practice of course

Sprinter

And that done…..

But why you ask?????

Because there is much scope for mischief and upsetting folk who are so tight in their own bubbles that they need shaking up and subject to jests. Let me illustrate.

OK: Here we are at some choreographed meeting of a person of manufacture political, social, or media standing; going on a great length about the world should be run, and how they would deal with those who do not fit and just as there are reaching the pinnacle of their nonsense with a “And friends I say to you, without fear of contradiction…………..”

Whhooooossshhhh! I hurtle so fast no one can see me slowing to wiggle my index finger on their lips….. so it comes out as ‘Brrrrrubbbblerubble!!’ and thence I vanish so fast no one notices my exit. Popularity promptly dips and the speaker’s doctor is due to collect a large fee.

OK: Here we are at a meeting of sour-faced folk who are convinced they are intellectuals and progressive thinkers by belittling ordinary folk and their religious beliefs. As the main speaker launches into some offensive tirade…………….

Whhoooooosh! I appear in suit and do my Robert Duvall impression as in The Apostle.

“Brothers and Sisters! The Lord loves you! Have no fear!” I call out

Whhooooosh!! To one corner of the room “He brings Holy Ghost Power Unto you!!” I shout

Whhooooosh!! To another corner of the room “And you sister!!” (hands out Bible)

Whooosh!!! To yet another corner “Oh Lord!! Comfort your poor lost lambs!!”

Whooooosh!! Exits. Existentialist crisis ensues, several brits in the audience hide under chairs.

OK: Some idjit is railing and rants that the Bible proves conclusively that Gays are dam’d to Hell. Women should know their place. If you go near a book with science, then the devil is behind you. And above all you should hate all those who do not worship The Lord (in the idjit’s prescribed way)

Having dressed up in biblical garb and wearing long hair and a beard……Whooooooosh! I appear seemingly out of nowhere, just behind the idjit, place a hand on their shoulder and leaning into the microphone say “Well actually, that’s not what The Lord said, I should know I was there at the Sea of Galilee and followed him all the way to Jerusalem,” Whooooooosh!!, then vanish. Idjit gets pelted with screwed copies of their stupid pamphlet.

OK: A particularly annoying young fellow in riding around the town, too fast and the music is far too loud and his ego is far too big for such a youngster. Whooooosh!! Having now practiced my skills I appear as an elderly fellow, seemingly by hobbling with a stick am keeping pace. I lean over and say to him “I say youngster. Can you give me the direction to…..Oh never my I see it. Now you make sure you get your daddy’s car back in one piece,” and seemingly hobble ahead of him into the distance. Young guy take car to nearest Used Car place, sells it and takes up jogging.

OK: A bunch of motorcycle wannabees are moving along a wide stretch of road, thinking they are all Ronald Perlman in Sons of Anarchy. Having purchased an early 20th Century adult tricycle I peddle up at an amazing pace, and I pass them call out “Hey dudes! Eat Mah dust!!” and peddle away into the distance, also outdistances the police patrol car in pursuit. Everyone stops at the next eating establishment, drink a lot of coffee and take up mah jong.

Finally in the late Gene Wilder’s garb as in Willie Wonka……..Whoooosh!! appear out of nowhere at various board meetings, legislative assemblies and think tanks. Do a little dance and waggling a finger call out “Ha-ha! I know what you’ve reeeeellyy been doing!…Ooooooh no visit from Santa for you!!” and Whoooosh!! vanish. Result…hopefully a few resignations.

I tell ya I’m ready for it!!!

(With apologies to Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha for any similarities to his hilarious adverts for his Echo SF series- not stolen honest- just comes out that way)

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Superpowers….Whooooosh!!

  1. Roger that is so hilarious! I laughed out loud several times! My dear daughter was like, “Mom are you OK?” The thought of you flicking a person’s lips to make their words sound like nonsense tickled me to no end! This whole thing was straight out of Monty Python–only funnier!

    Thank you so much for a really good laugh! And thanks for taking on this challenge. Clearly you (and I) had a lot of fun with this one!

    Liked by 2 people

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