If Your Blog Was a Resume

Now this is useful information, clearly explained (so stop reading that stuff on Rants)

The PBS Blog

If your blog was a resume, will I be able to contact you for a job?

I follow a lot of blogs through the WordPress reader that I would like to follow by way of my email because it’s easier for me to keep in touch. I manage the blogs I follow by regulating my settings. Some blogs I adjust to get emails every day and instantly. Some I have set for a few times a week, and some I purposely just follow through the reader.

I don’t consider myself an expert blogger so take this with a grain of salt (lol), but perhaps it will be beneficial to make sure your Follow This Blog button is visible. I have come to really enjoy smaller blogs. There is something genuine about a blog with fewer followers. However, I soon discover why there is not much support. I enjoy the post…

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Reflections from Arcadia…Gentlemen, The Rant (Pt III)

Gentlemen

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Today I will lead you through A Rant. There will be asides in italics which will contain explanation or elaborations, therefore the full emotional impact will be diluted, but this is a sacrifice I am only too glad to make in the promulgation of this art. You can of course read the rant in its whole on account of it being in BOLD and then go back to the notes

Clothing with Novelty Slogans: Are you sure about this? (This not only announces the subject but also poses a question of doubt as to the merits of your target while preserving other rhetorical devices for later)

By the frequency that references to trade and trading appear in both factual and fictional works we are left in no doubt that the consumption of goods is part of a functioning society. (A statement which the vast majority of potential readers would be hard pressed to disagree with; true you may well get some responses of disagreement-look at it this way, they’d be ‘interesting’ to read and reinforce your own opposing beliefs-important for a Practitioner of the Rant). Therefore, whereas there is thus nothing wrong with taking part in consumerism (This sort of gravitas might justifiably annoy linguists, philosophers, proof readers and editors but, in the matter A Rant ‘Therefore’s ‘Whereas’ s & ‘Thus’s are always good currency) however most of us have to be somewhat sparing on how much we are able to spend, for we are not all blessed with incomes 50 to a 100 times above the average. (Now note how I managed to appeal to both sides of the political divide and those who couldn’t care less, while adding a censorious subtle note- no ordinary person likes wealthy folk flaunting it). Should we not, therefore, ask ourselves ‘Am I having good, lasting and consistent value for my purchase?’(By planting those speeds of doubt you are appealing to the deeper part of the reader. Giving way to emotions and calling them huckster-fodder with more in their wallets than their heads, is not going to help your cause is it?) (additionally by using the qualifiers Good, Lasting and Consistent you are covering all eventualities)

Consider the T (or Sweat)-shirt with the ‘Statement’. At first glance these may appear to be humorous or iconoclastic, but can the consumer be certain these are having the desired effect? (It is important not to label the object of scorn directly, using such a ploy suggests you do not have stiff conservative opinions while at the same time the matter of doubt is being pressed home). As the wearer walks about in public they run the risk earning the censure of those who are currently for many reasons not inclined to see the humour, and either be labelled in unfavourable terms or in worse cases told something on the subject, thus a jocular, casual choice has rendered the wearer a subject of serious attention, which presumably was not the intention, and money may have thus been wasted (This is a subversive approach. Again not a direct questioning of the choice, but the apparent cautionary raising of concerns). Then there is the thorny problem of consistency. If the wearer displays a statement they feel is humorous, they are in danger of being a hostage to fortune. They may have started out the day in a good mood, but as we all know such hopeful intentions can sour as the day wears on. And a grim expression does jar with such a piece of clothing; maybe leading to smirks of ridicule or whispered remarks of contempt by those just looking for an excuse to denigrate such a clothing choice. (Here the force of argument is increased by placing a fear within the reader, similar to spying someone who is using a high walkway and previously comfortable and yelling at them not to look down, which they will, or try not to- I know it sounds callous, but the Practitioner of The Rant must harden their heart at times)

Then there is the question of the problems posed in the line of socks with such sentiments or in their case logos (And inclusion of another example is important, it indicates you have given this matter much thought). There is the issue of visual accessibility to the statement the wearer wishes to make, for observing this particular area of the body on a casual basis is prone to oversight (indications of practicality always strikes a positive chord). In this case it leads to the necessity of wearing shorts and one has to ask is this some type of marketing ploy; that to display the novelty sock it is necessary to buy shorts? (It is always important at some stage to suggest to the reader they are being manipulated or coerced by the subject of your criticism. In democratic societies this engenders a sense of outrage in the reader and can only serve your cause- it’s no time to be picky about the morality of you influencing them, after all this is A Rant!). Thus in addition to the problems encountered with T-shirts (no need to labour that point, it’s repetition) we should be consider (yes always invite the reader into your circle) if we are not witnessing another of those deft but nonetheless definite attempts to make the consumer part with capital they might wish to invest in other directions, by drawing them into a cycle of purchasing a whole ensemble. (Note that within this phrase there is a melding of the factors of socio-political, consumer economics and fashion-sense, enriching your argument and possibly encouraging your reader to tell people within their social circle but not necessarily with the same priorities). Thus, whereas the consumer may wish to appear as being unconventional, they have become unintentionally wrapped into that cycle by a conventionally charged system that simply sells goods without caring for the long-term viability of customer satisfaction (We have to be honest with ourselves, since all pundits and commentators at some stage rely on a piece of long-winded circumlocution, at this stage it does good in A Rant to include a portion; it suggests we are coming to a conclusion).

Undeniably (the inclusion of an ‘undeniably’ is advisable, this fortifies the impression the writer is looking at the matter from more than one side of the argument) choice and variety for the consumer is to be valued (Goodness!! How fair and reasonable can you appear to get???), however (this is always a good word to use; it lends a cautionary note) it is only fair to ask this final question (a measure of suspense works well. This indicates the writer has maintained a composure throughout, thus dissociating the discourse from the rather vulgar and ridiculous sort of tirade that gives The Rant a bad name). Are the makers, markets and sellers of these products really intent on bring some humour and joviality or are they merely (always include a ‘merely’ by doing so you are adding a measure of denigration of the target and the reader will consider agreeing with you, with a sneer of their own) intent on laying a false impression of individuality to the purchaser (itself a contradiction in terms for a commercial organisation seeking a profit) (one aside is always good value, particularly if phrased in a sardonic and dismissive way)in order that they may have that person part with capital or credit which could be put to a more constructive, satisfying and long-term use? (this sums up the matter by returning to the question originally asked and so it does not count as repetition). In view of the highlighted shortcomings of these products are these not, therefore questions which it does the potential consumer, no harm to ask themselves? (and so having stated your case, you leave the matter with the reader, who by now will be looking sideways at the advert in the journal at their side, wondering if they still have the receipt for that bit of impulse buying they did last week when it a rather frivolous mood, or maybe they should not send that ‘jolly’ birthday gift after all)

So there you are gentlemen. A carefully and constructed rant. Be honest, could you really be sure from which political or cultural side that came from? Yes, well I know it’s literate and some might feel verbose, but when approaching the business of A Rant you should always strive to be above the profane and eschew the use of current urban slang. The former is getting tedious and the latter is s as bad as using Latin; not everyone understands it and in the usage you appear if you are desperately trying to be one of the crowd; Gentlemen if you aspire to The True Rant you must be dismissive of such tawdry business.

I leave you there Gentlemen to consider and proceed.About to Rant

For those Ladies who have been following, you have, of course my blessings to Print, Copy & Paste or otherwise Share any of this to any menfolk of your acquaintance you feel might benefit from this series.

(PS I will also do work on request; for modest payments of chocolate or gift cards….I never mentioned Integrity as a vital component of the craft)

A Tail (ahem!) Tale of 5 Self-Published Books …

Now never mind my stuff! Pay attention to this if you want to have your work read and appreciated.

Books: Publishing, Reading, Writing

Recently I read 5 self-published eBooks—all good books in their own way—but 4 of these suffered from “problems” that in my estimation could have been easily rectified. As it was, these problems were enough to diminish my satisfaction in reading what should have been very good books. Without mentioning the authors’ names or their book titles (except for the perfect book!), let me explain what I mean. (I did finish reading every book I list here, but with varying degrees of satisfaction.)

The first book is one I had known about for some time and had even beta-read material in advance to help the author organize and substantively edit in preparation for publication. I read a free Kindle edition. While I thoroughly enjoyed what was written—both the subject matter and the stories told (this was non-fiction about a particular time and place in the author’s life)—I realized that the author…

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Reflection from Arcadia…Gentlemen, The Rant (Part II)

Gentlemen

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I trust you have read and grasped the principals of preparation of The Rant, and so at this juncture should be in the correct frame of mind to procedure with producing a justifiable and irrefutable rant .

Now when starting out you should bear in mind your intention; which is to convince the reader you are alerting them to a flaw, problem or foolishness which they would do well to avoid or even better, inspired by your words, take up against. This requires a steady and determined hand. At all times focus on the subject and do not waver or deviate, you should hold the reader at all times, you do not want them scratching their heads, grinning or muttering ‘What the- ‘? (and so forth).

It is essential therefore to portray yourself with all the stern and rock-like edifice of a thinker, prophet, or essayist of an earlier age.

The Bible

Two things you must never do:

Do not portray yourself as an ordinary plain speaking, straight forward sort who only asks simple questions. It’s a guise used by successful columnists of the opinionated school, they are now wealthy & well-known BUT if not recognised and out of their bubbles come across as loud-mouthed drunks, club-house bores or ‘why did they sit by me’s on public transport. No dear sir, you do not have the chimera of fame on your side! Thus you are out to prove to the reader that you have peered deep into the complexities of society and perceived the implications and ramifications of various failings.

Secondly refrain for falling back on the style of a college lecturer in chosen subject. Whereas you may have a wealth of knowledge on the subject at hand, your readership will drift away after the first few lines if you are using phrases and statements unique to the subject. As an example, in matters political I have very left wing tendencies, but I could no more wade through a blog on Marxist Economic theory than I could six inches of mud in a howling gale

In starting out think of this being a long distance run, don’t use up all your justifiable outrage in the first thirty words. Start out at a slow pace. Begin in a moderate way, such phrases as ‘There is a matter which has been troubling me…’ or ‘Much has been written on the complexities of society and the following could be another worthy example’ even rhetorical opening along the lines of ‘Responsibility comes in many guises’. This suggests to the reader there may be something here they may have been thinking about too. At this stage you can introduce the subject matter, but make sure this links into with your introduction. It is no use starting off with all the gravitas of a philosopher and then come up with ‘So what is it with these stupid —- (whatever). We are not here for irony or sarcasm; we are here to make a serious impression!

orator

Having set up base camp in the first paragraph you are now relatively free to start really pouring scorn upon your target. At this stage you are a free agent, do as you will. I would no more think about influencing the subject matter of a good rant than I would someone accidentally adding more sugar into my tea/coffee than is good for me. Even so a certain amount of judgement is still required.

You should refrain from profanities; these are all well and good in areas of repair or domestic maintenance, but since there is an excess of them in public discourse, your rant will stand out far better when the reader notices none.

Always maintain a theme of censure in your work, at no time pause on lighter matters. Make sure each phrase is structured in condemnation. Do not bring in relief to the reader by illustrating the better option. You should not let them relax. Be constant in your criticism of your target, trilby thus will you impress upon your reader the need to take vigorous action. Leave more gentle and nuanced souls to the business of construction.

At all times use a certain level of language which is above the common discourse, while sustaining clarity. Although there is a common parlance which we all use; it enriches a reader to understand both meaning of word and purpose when these are formed in terms of an earlier but still accessible era. And the reader will feel they are of this band who appreciate such style and so be even more sympathetic to your rant.

Of course there is likely to be an element of politics, cultural conflict and so forth; do not however be one-sided, a good rant should appeal to all, do not be afraid to denigrate those of your own side whose excessive antics or failure to grasp the true principals are undermining your position; while the extremists of the opposition are a lost cause there is little sport to be had there. But by taking issue with your own side shows you to have the veneer of being open-minded and fair.

Now; let us be honest- it is tiring in being right and saying why, so a pause is wise. Step from the machine and, find something that annoys you to replenish the emotional reserves, though be careful not to carry the detail of the cause into your rant. A complaint about the failure of the size labels on clothes to reflect the true status of the garment will look odd if you try and fit that into a tirade against professional film critics

At this stage you should also check for spelling mistakes which the Spellcheck has mischievously pretended it did not see and the other malicious tricks that computers programmes play. When finding these; nurture that feeling of outrage which has been played against your personally, this will stand you in good stead when you return to your task.

The length of your rant should be judged by the stage when you start to repeat yourself. Do not be afraid to admit this to yourself, for this is the strength and the luxury of the written rant, you can check yourself. If repetition has set in it is time to stop and check your work for content in style and venom.

Which is why I am stopping now….

In a few days’ time there be an example of a rant with commentaries. Have pen and paper ready to take notes, or a blank Word Doc to Copy & Paste onto.

In the meantime, gentlemen brood and reflect upon the echoes of the manifold follies of not just the Present, The Future and of course The Past.

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Reflections from Arcadia…Gentlemen, The Art of The Rant (Part I)

Foreword

This post for men to read and consider 170px-BenjaminTuckerDear Ladies I would not dare to advise you on how to rant. Yours are likened to the precision of a predator moving in for the swift and precise kill valkyriesriderant as opposed to our own masculine all-encompassing storms of outrage. True I have seen some rather skewed offerings by women but since apparently within our constructions there are aspects of the opposite gender I can only assume the writer was being influenced by their male traits. You may of course wish to read this and pass the information onto the male dear to your heart who is prone to rant. The subject is of such depth and import that I have divided the lecture into two parts. This part dealing with the basics and the subsequent part with the construct and delivery of the rant.

Warning: This advice is of no use to those who wish to poison the ether with racism, religious bigotry, denigration of a social group or gender. To begin with concepts espoused herein would be difficult for their febrile minds to grasp. Also as they are prone to spontaneous outbursts that would embarrass even a toddler the requirement of patience is beyond their capacities. If any such categories by some quirk of circumstance are reading this, I would suggest you leave now and take up your time in practicing contortion-like acts with a view to carnal self-gratification.

The Rant- It’s Nature: Of course you have encountered something of monumental injustice, stupidity, intransigence, ridiculousness, frivolity and so forth of which you need to warn the world about and place forth your own correct and solid beliefs, as well as your own infallible solutions. trilbyWhat could be more sensible and, yes indeed, responsible. It is your duty to expose this nonsense for what it is worth with justifiable passion. Quite. However, for your rant to have the impact it deserves some preparation is necessary. So, gentlemen, rein in your passions for a short while, ‘twill be worth the wait.

The Setting: This of course must be the written word. As men we are heavy with our instinct to be the hunter protector, and so are ever alert to possible threats; now women think this as being easily distracted, which we know is an incorrect assumption, but this noble instinct can be a liability when in the full emotional flow of one’s opinions. t08-is-this-whist-may-i-ask Children with fingers up noses, cats prowling about legs, or idiots wearing T-shirts emblazoned with inane comments might not be threats per se but they do distract one. NO, far better is the written word.

Preparation of Yourself: Everyone has grown used to the spluttering hand-waving fellow peppering his outbursts with profanities and ‘y’know’s ‘I mean’s, ‘Look!’s or such trivia, and if outdoors apart from frightening a few younger and less experienced pigeons doesn’t amount to much. No, dear sirs you must place yourself in the right frame of mind and carve for yourselves the correct image. Thus consider yourself in the cast of the stern patrician, honed by the passage of years and experience. Portrait_of_a_Venetian_Patrician_undated_7947Witness to the manifold follies of those about you. Stalwart in your reasoned and indefatigable beliefs. SternHere you are, burdened once more to stride out upon the Stage of Human Discourse and lecture on the matter at hand. Dwell upon this image for at least two days. imagesKUX2E4NS If someone having mistaken the grave concern upon your face does happen to ask you if you have a case of indigestion do not give way to justifiable annoyance, simply shake your head, smile grimly and thank them for their concern, so you maintain the emotion and the moral high-ground. (see other suitable examples below) images7QX7B7J5

Preparation of The Statement’s Theme: Whereas there is much to be said for a stream of consciousness tirade, this only works well against the true idiot whose home is social media, and the efforts you make tire after a while for there is little challenge in denigrating a troll. And you are out to wake up the world! You should therefore consider not just the What you wish to say; Why you wish to say it and How to say it, but also the inserting of gems of wisdom or profundity. These should always have a style of philosophical granite which will stand the test of any passage of time and the weight of which will lie heavy upon the page. In the case of authors of novels have a notebook at hand to write down those phrases which come to mind gregory2. Such as ‘Although this may be a fallible suggestion all the alternatives as far worse’ or ‘The follies of Human Endeavour are manifold. However…..’ These should always be made up. If you use someone else’s you run the risk of having the wrong context, leaving out another part which contradicts your argument, or someone coming along and saying the person you have quoted from changed their mind in later life. Never use Latin quotes, it makes you look like an insufferable smartass who hasn’t the courage of their convictions to put their argument out in plain English, and there is also that contextual problem. The statement should also have a beginning a middle and an end, in that order. This novel approach to a rant will confound the readers, impress those you wish to influence and confound the potential critics who will be quite incapable of dealing with such a logical approach. At no time let your mind wander off topic. Stick to this subject matter, embrace the subject, live it breath it. But do not mutter about it, folk familiar with your habits will become of aware of what you are up to and will try and dissuade you, instead sing, softly solemn, sober or thoughtful snatches of songs.

Cym-001-1873-5-from-Library-Shakespeare-P_C_56_06 (I know they’ve been here before, but hey, they’re cheap to hire)

You are now ready to get to the business of the tirade itself. Which we shall consider in the next postimagesC0U7V2ED