Machine…. Your cyber-sands are ticking out…..tick….tick


I would like to do all sorts of smart and noticeable things on my WordPress Blog, I would like to follow all sorts of links and become wiser and enriched by the information therein.

I would.

Yet I am dogged by this slow, snide, device of mine and its ways of disinformation and distraction. I read someone’s blog, and there is a most interesting link and at once click on it……three minutes later having given way to hopelessness of clicking again there is the inevitable signal that something somewhere is ‘Not Responding’, which is rather obvious. It has also become obvious to some aspect of Windows too, because one of its little programme is now frantically dashing about its little cyber world looking for a fault, which it will not find, well it never has before, and exhausted it lapses. Meanwhile it is necessary to once more call upon the doughty hero of the computer world The Task Manager, and summoned by the loyal minions Ctrl, Alt & Delete this dependable being rises once more to cleanse the flawed link from my screen. I then returning knowing full well I will be told that my browser session closed unexpectedly; now that is patent nonsense, there was nothing unexpected about it at all and some beastly little programme knows full well it was not unexpected too. Even worse when on WordPress  in replying to someone’s kindly response  to something I have written there is a 2 or 3 minute delay while the wretched machine hides the cursor so by the time it bothers to produce it my original reply is degraded by agitation.

Recently I was trying to explain to a retail site that I did want to pay for goods & services, honestly and did not need to go back to the basket, but something somewhere thought there was doubt in my mind. Eventually exhausted I quit, I sent to polite e-mail feedback to the said company asking if there was a problem with their site. Someone responded very swiftly and also politely and informed me with all the wisdom that those versed in such matter can, it sounded like a ‘cache’ problem, I thanked them for their advice; it seemed the proper thing to do. Then I consulted Wikipedia as to what a ‘cache problem’ might be in computer terms. I pride myself that I managed to read as far as the second paragraph but having encountered ‘temporal localities’ and ‘spatial localities’ and finding they had their own references was discouraged and gave up. Had this been a page on Quantum Physics I would have carried on; it is a world of mind-bending perceptions which appeals to me; the computer equivalents do not, they assume the reader knows more than one-tenth of what they are on about.This much I had gathered it was some issue with my machine .

I seek advice of forums, the people who give the advice assume you have what they consider a responsible and mature attitude to computers but speak in words and phrases which require more visits to Wikipedia; the result being an allegorical tearing of hair as I will be confused again. Also there is the danger that in trying to do something which you only one-tenth understand you will remove several vital programmes which cannot be brought back.

But at least on forums the folk accept it is an imperfect world. The people I reserve my venom for are those who explain that something has happened in a way which suggests it is not the fault of the computer, the up-date, the programmer or anyone into whose hands you have placed your sanity and well-being. Never mind that whatever it is which is not working now was working before; this is of no concern to them; their intimation is that whatever has happened is as a force of nature and you should bear stoically with it while they babble away at full speed leaving you no better off than before.

But the one thing I have dredged up from the slurry of information is that there is something wrong with ‘The Hard Drive’; I could not begin to tell you with any degree of ethical certainty what a ‘Hard Drive’ is much less what to do with one when it goes wrong. This much is apparent though; something to do with the Hard Drive is ominous. I fear for my book which I place in the safety of a memory stick; for how can one have confidence in a device which after you have been typing away for 30mins presents you with several items enigmatically headed as ‘WRD’ and refuse you to access them, only for them to vanish at some stage as mysteriously as they came.

So I will purchase a new machine, one whose keyboard does not have traps which sends half of your current paragraph back up three pages ago. One which has Windows 10, Microsoft assured me I would have an update, back in September, a free up-date I fear they have forgotten this promise because they keep fooling about with my Windows 7 not that there is any perceptible improvement. I have no particular confidence in Windows 10, but I do have a book ‘Windows 10 for Seniors( inferred- Dummies)’, with which I will start a’fresh with a new machine and in a spirit of co-operation, convincing it to turn away from the treacherous codes whispered to it by Skynet and be a machine of reasonable and useful disposition. The current machine will not be danced upon nor receive its just desserts with a hammer, but will be consigned somewhere, much uninstalled and relegated to an archive from which information small be bled away until it is but a husk and a warning to all other mico-chipped beings that there are fates worse that being broken into tiny bits. 20160109_153704

So on that happy dawn I will hope to start a progress which will enable me to make more useful blogs with links and images. Until then I must slog away with a grey and yet solid determination that The Machines will not win.


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