Note: Although this might seem a slightly disturbing conversation the writer has been categorised as as sane as any writer would care to be and is allowed to drive, use kitchen implements without supervision and cut branches off of trees, in mild weather.
Yes, you, or should I say Captain Prevaricating Wanderer. From now on it’s going to be tighter, see. You’re going to have listen up, see. You gonna do it my way, see.
Why have you slipped into Edward G Robinson mode?….Oww those mental thwacks to the frontal lobe can really sting y’know!
Would you rather me do a Drill Sergeant out of Full Metal Jacket?
Heavens t’Betsy no! There are ladies on this site, and I may have my failings but I will uphold to good old fashioned British standards of decency don’t-cha know. I will therefore listen. See how I metaphorical sat upon the floor legs crossed and folded arms resting lightly on my knees
Now the last two days have showed promise. 11th November we clocked up 2,088 words and yesterday 12th November we reached 2,845. Now we know we’ll have to go back for proof-reading, editing, continuity and deleting the inevitable ‘What The Earth Was I Thinking About When I Wrote That Bit?’ parts. But never mind the story has to be completed, so we know what has to go, etc, etc. I’m sure many sculptors don’t worry about the finer details they commence a work of art, only as they near completion
We don’t know any sculptors
Don’t interrupt I am being allegorical
You don’t look a bit like her….Owwww!
As I was saying, bear in mind that we are full retired from paid employment and we have a full day to use, let us have you with no more frittering. You must take adhere to the following:
Firstly: When listing to the music on the Playlist There shall be no drifting off into daydreams as to how you might have performed it in days of yore. Nor shall you sneak any more looks at Live performances on YouTube, or Wikipedia for artist biographies. This is writing time being using up
Secondly: There will be no more casual visits to Amazon (.co or .com) to see if there are any bargains on graphic novels, nor will there be re-arranging on the ten Wish list we have. You will not gaze longingly at any of the said novels and suggest that buying just one more will stimulate the creative process; there are more than enough on the five shelves. Transfer gazing time to reading time, but do not let gazing impinge on writing time.
Thirdly: There will have to a moratorium on the hobbies. You always start them, then lose interest after a while and since you have five half-finished projects, you shall take on no more and you will be methodical about those started and not wander into them. You will attend to and finish said projects in a proper way (1 hour a day will be allotted).But the writing takes precedence.
Fourthly: Whereas writing polemics in the name of just causes on sundered forums maybe very cathartic and comfortable with an identity as a mid-60s retired male this should now be restricted to one passionate diatribe per day and take up no longer than 30mins. You will not scroll the forum to seek on glowing comments of approval for that is vanity. It will make you slip back into your mis-understood as a writer mode (Oooh I never do these days….Ha! Sure you don’t!).
Fifthly: Your time as an Amazon reviewer hath passed, it was fun while it lasted but demographics have spoken, Amazon is no more all about books and books alone and stop buying them so you can post up a review (and please stop getting ‘stuff’ off Amazon Vine just ‘cas it’s there) Accept that you will settled around about the 1,000th and while we’re about it stop tormenting those poor sad trolls who have naught to do with their lives but post artificial ‘negs’, you are above all of that. You have had your day. Just post the occasional review on a book you feel motivated about.
You’ve stopped….Is there a Sixthly.?
I’m working on it.
Now that’s better. You using created words out of the story, keep think……
Ah-ha: Sixthly….No daydreaming about things when you could be using the time to think on the narrative.
Have you finished now? Can I ask a question?
Of course, as long as it is not flippant.
What about time spent on WordPress?
(aside: Oh for the Love of Brandon Sanderson!)….Look! Have you noticed that the posts on the said site are about…wri-t-ing?
Can I go back to writing now….I feel a frib lot safer doing that…..
Now you’re getting it!!