Ah me, another rejection.
This one came back much quicker than usual; within 24 hours. I quickly took comfort in the story of Frank Zappa passing a place where the then unknown Alice Cooper were playing; the audience were streaming out, apparently Zappa was impressed; if a band could cause that reaction they must be worth looking at. But there for many obvious reasons, the least of all being that I am not a performance artist,(unless watching political news on tv) the comparison must end.
It was time of course to once more take the whole business in a solid, mature and dignified way. To re-appraise my style and structure in comparison to other writers. Thus I sought out a few fantasy novels at a local charity shop; for a start the money would be going to a worthy cause. It was then time to consider and compare; constructively.
My wife said she was all for constructive analysis and response, but there was no way she was going to allow me to replace our stock of toilet rolls with glued together pages from fantasy novels. I reflected that maybe my response was a measure too subjective. Perhaps I needed to consider character construction.
Her response was that my wish to indulge in a vigorous folk dance on two books lacked credibility both social and cultural, even when I claimed I was emphasising with the anger felt by the central characters.
Thus realising that my endeavours with other writers’ works was not going to be profitable I turned to honing my own writing skills.
Working on the basis that an intense period of stream of consciousness writing would be profitable in clearing out a slough of rejection, I visited some discussion sites, religious and political
There I commenced to support the opposite view to the prevailing one, not responding to any abuse or challenges, but in a dread kindly tone continuing to expound whatever came into my head and spreading apoplexy.
Feeling a little better and returned in more positive frame of mind to the question of failure to be published.
While reflecting on this, I took a card model I had made of a city building, and placed upon it a plaque with the name of a well-knowing publisher. Then set fire to it, considering the patterns and montage of colours in the flames and by this relaxing.
Still feeling some residual tension I considered some physical exercises would be beneficial. I achieved this by various facial contortions, including extensions of tongue and loud noises. So eager to do this I had quite forgotten my computer was on and displaying a montage of well-known writers, to which my contortions were being accidentally directed.
All that was needed now was by using one of my five alternative web-site identities, I visited a few literary sites and posted inflammatory and highly critical reviews of recently deemed popular and well received books. I justifiably felt some contrast and tension was required in the debate. Considering I had not read any of the books I was very pleased with my work as true inspiration and free-thought.
And so with dignity intact and self-esteem renewed, to bed with happy thoughts on my next writing project.